Really struggling today!

Hi Jane, Just seen your new post and echo all the comments here. Can perfectly understand  the sort of things going through your head. We all wobble from time to time - we are human not machines. Wanted to ask though, How did things go on your weekend break? Did you manage to find a bit of space where your mind disengaged from the cancer? I do hope so.

It's early days and scans are always a 'thing' that has to be dealt with - anticipating the scan, having the scan, waiting for the results. But if you think about it, you could spend every waking moment doing all that, as, if the scans are rolling round every 3 months at present, you will be expending all your energy on worrying about scans. Your energy is better used doing things that you enjoy, eating food you like, talking to friends about how you feel and making lovely memories with those you love.

I make a list. I always have been a list maker. It helps concentrate the mind. I give myself a little programme every day. Sometimes I get quite a few things ticked off the list, some days only one or two. They are not big things. They are what I can manage and these days are largely aimed at doing something that is satisfying to me. [like painting]. Your list will I'm sure be very different, but it'll be your list. Factor in food to look forward to; Zooms with family and friends; going out for a walk; going for a coffee; taking photos in the park. Put it on the list. Do Rainie's art project. Put it on the list. It will help you structure your hours and help get your mind onto something else - even if only for a short while. You deserve to have a break. Make the cancer wait.

All the best, Rainie x

Jane, I wrote you a response, but for some reason my reply was moderated. Thinking of you. Take care, Rainie x

Hi Jane, I hope you are feeling a bit better now that you've had your scan, My next one is on Saturday evening and I can feel the tension building, I know it will release a bit then and rebuild whilst I am waiting for my results.

Try to be kind to yourself

Best wishes 

Rainie, ah ok, that’s odd. Thank you. 
You too xx

Hi Sal 

I do feel a bit better today thank you. I’m glad the scans done, now to sit back and wait. I know what you mean, it’s such a rollercoaster of emotions.

Good luck for Saturday 

Ill try , thank you 

Best wishes 

Jane x 

Hi Rainie. This must be the reply you were referring to.

The weekend break was lovely thank you. It even snowed heavily on the Friday eve. My son and his girlfriend came, they are 19 and 20, plus my 15 year old stepson, we all got on so well and took lots of photos, played lots of games, and ate loads of naughty things. 
I’ve done quite well in between scans as can switch off a bit and carry on as normally as possible. The build up to next scan and then the waiting, is very difficult but I agree, I don’t want to waste my life worrying. 
I’m a huge list person, love a list. I make a list daily, but it’s mainly shopping, chores, etc, but I try to do my Pilates some days or go for a walk. I just struggle to meet up with people as I really can’t be bothered to talk some days. 
I had a quick look at your projects thank you. Was a lot to take in, I need to read them again properly as I struggled to understand them when first read them. I’m a slow learner  

Thank you 

I hope you’re doing ok 

xx 

Hi Rainie, when you say moderated do you mean removed?

Tvman xx

Cavalier disregard for the correct use of pronouns and their effect on very minor people.

1. I am also having lots of stuck days at the moment. Just want to stay safe at home. About to force myself out for a walk. Hoping it passes for us both and your scan is best possible news XXX

Come on Sassy, out of the front door and around the block. I know that is easier said than done but just 10 minutes will help you. xx