FML

Lily, caring too much is better than not caring I think. I have 3 sisters, if one picks up on the fact that I have had a blood test, they all gather round, can they make me dinner, can they do my washing etc. Ive got a wife who has been with me for about 45 years, she gets humpy when a fuss is caused for no apparent reason. A blood test, of which I have dozens like all of us causes the same fallout as a nuclear war!

So I agree friends and family can drive you mad but with the best intentions.

Forgive them Lily. Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Norberry I know they care about me, that's not the issue.  It's just I've always been able to handle myself, I'm five foot zero but I used to run a pub and am a qualified body guard!  It just feels like that has all been forgotten.  I used to look after them!! I'm still me and it is hard to think of myself as vulnerable.  X

I do understand Lily, I just think there is no way to change their thinking without causing some upset. And 6.30 is probably an acceptable bed time for a little snowflake.  Not changing my mind, I've got control and restraint qualifications so don't upset me! Xxxxxxxxxxx

Haha. I'll try not to upset you. 

It's just so hard to adjust to. Being female and self sufficient for so long to suddenly becoming "Vulnerable " is difficult to comprehend. But I still feel I can do what I did before.  I probably need a big reality check. 

Lily, I am moving house in two weeks because I cannot cope with the house and garden maintenance. Of course I hark back to when I could handle anything and feel unhappy but I bet most of us on here could recount the same story. You have had an enormous shock and upheaval in your life, I wish I could make you feel better.

When you are next out with your friends, get pissed and demand five minutes of their time to put them straight,

No violence though please.

I do like your name, I see my Mum whenever I see your name on here.  Xxxxx

Awww I like my name too. I was named after my great grandmother , who was the strongest woman I have ever known. Very proud I was given her name.  I will definitely get pissec next time and voice my opinions.  Not that they will listen but it's worth a try.

One solution is to not to out if your fed up. Im afraid that once news gets out, people can overreact or underreact because they don't know how to,deal with it. its not about you, its often about their response. I've seen this so many times in other people. When it was my turn for the big C, i chose to tell few people. Of course, im ve ry ill now so I spare myself exhausting energy.

Tony, I'm sorry to hear your so poorly. Makes my problem look very small.  I think because I'm used to looking after everyone else it's really hard to go back to being Lily the hairstylist rather than a bodyguard.  I do love being a hairdresser, but guarding was much more exiting. 

I am very independent and I don't like fuss. However, i cannot do so much now so i painfully had to change and gracefully accept help from people. Its hard but I accepted it by changing my perceptionof my situation. No longer am i that fit mountain climber.....shit happens

Wow mountain climbing,  that must have been very exhilarating.  I've never done that.  Yes you are right, we have to adapt to our situations, but I do find that people really don't understand that we are still the same person with the same ambitions. We just can't do it anymore.