Worried/wondering

Morning  2.30am is a bad time to be thinking about scans...It doesn’t get any easier does it. The good thing about 3 monthly scans is that any changes are picked up early. I also have metastatic bread cancer with spread to my brain, bones, liver & lungs but the other good news is that there are more options in this group than in many others. It’s no wonder you’re scared when the CT has flagged something up. It may well change your treatment but the likelihood is there will still be a treatment plan.

It’s ok to feel blessed and to want more blessings!  used to say as we can’t influence the outcome of the scan we should try and deal with the anxiety that goes with it. She used meditation amongst other things, but anything that keeps your mind occupied will help.It’s the middle of the night worries that are hard to ignore. Good luck with th MRI on Thurs. I hope you won’t have to wait too long for results and there will be a plan that keeps you with your husband and friends for a long time yet. xx

Thanks so much for replying, cold light of day helps put things into perspective and your thoughts and kind words help- heartfelt thankyou.

Tinalay is bang on about middle of the night worrying. How different it always seems in the morning.

Of course you want more time and why not. You have a big team of people in charge of your health and they want to give you more time too. Thats their job and they are all pretty good at it. All crossed for Thursday. X

Dear Norberry, thanks so much, I'm  usually quite good at putting things in boxes and dealing with them bit by bit but I have realised that perhaps the thought of hospital without being able to see Family and loved ones is something I'd really struggle and the worry every time a treatment changes you feel that much closer to losing options but in the cold light of day I know that there is little point stressing over what I can't change and appreciating that I do indeed have a wonderful team of people looking after my health and best interests, acting quickly and prepared to give me options and they are exceptional at it otherwise nigh on 7 years on I wouldn't be here, so I'm going to revel in the fact they are doing everything so quickly and embrace whatever comes next, its a gorgeous sunny day so I might log off from work early and enjoy a dog walk, fresh air and realise how luck I am - thanks for the good wishes it means alot, sometimes it is hard to put on those you love so much when you are trying to be strong for them - nice to know other people have your back and 'get it' - THANK YOU both.

I will tell you a really strange thing Bartki. After reading your  reply  you have actually made me feel better and more in control of my own daily worries, how about that!? So thank you so much. X

Ahhh, that made me smile that I could do a little something to help someone else is more than I thought I'd achieve today and yet here, after a tough night and being a bit me me me it has turned into a really positive day thanks to you & Tinalay - goes to show how quickly things can turn into a positive with a little help and support

Hi Bartki,  Sorry for this late reply but our jnternet was down yesterday evening so I couldn't read any posts!  I am one of the regular Night Owls on here and as you say we just "Get it"!  We try not to worry our families but here you can say anything!

Let's get one thing straight, yes I am awake until the wee small hours most nights but I am not lying worrying! It would waste too much energy and in the long run it won't change a thing! However we all get Scanxiety when the time comes to get the CT & MRI then have to wait for results! I do online jigsaws on my iPad, read my Kindle and come here when I cannot sleep, to try to tàke my mind off the pain that keeps me awake. There is always someone to chat to and you can try to help one another. The support here is amazing! I hope you get some positive results, then sleep soundly until the next scans are due!

Me too   your post is so positive. One of the things I love about our group is that someone will put into words something you’ve been thinking or feeling & couldn’t quite find the words for. So it seems you helped us right back. xx

Love it, thank you, to make you chuckle today MRI people called to ask if I had any metal in my body, I said no but I have a port sure that isn’t metal but thought I’d mention it, now everything on hold while they investigate ... so maybe my scan will get deferred! We’ll see. Made me smile because as you say no point stressing about tings out of our control. Fingers crossed it’ll all get sorted ! Today is feet up in front of woodburner day, I have weds off and boiler broken so nothing to do but let plumber do his thing and me do mine !!

thanks again for postive vibe & getting it!!

Thanks Annette, all of you really, it’s lovely to just know you can talk to people , it just helps.