What to say...

Hi 

My wife and I were talking about me going into a wheelchair just the other day. She said I coped well but of course I did. At the time when my spinal stenosis started to bite I wasn't on a high dose of morphine but as the days went by I started to get very painful and I had to stop working on 23rd January 2016. 

During the following month my pain became even more severe. I had a doctor's appointment to see about more pain relief, I struggled through the door into the waiting room and the staff were alarmed at the pain etched on my face, they told me later. So I was taken to the side for a while and next thing the manager came out of the office and said the Salvation Army would supply me with a wheelchair at their base in Bangor hospital. It was that quick. 

The difference was immeasurable. Gone went the pain and I slept much better. The wheelchair gave me the ability to get to where I wanted to again. My life changed for the better that day. People started to open doors for me, everyone was very kind and still are. I arranged for occupational therapy to give me another chair and I handed the other one back to the Salvation Army along with a donation for which the lady insisted on giving me a receipt!

OT also came to my house and gave me adaptations for the bathroom and arranged for rails for outside the front and back doors. I can manage without the wheelchair in the house although I needed a perching stool which again came from OT. 

Tinalay, for me, the wheelchair has been a godsend. I hope it is for you too. I haven't had the perception that people feel sorry for me, just willing to help. Most buildings are wheelchair friendly apart from, weirdly, listed buildings. Some have steps and they say they're not allowed to alter the front. That is unbelievable but some day I'll fight that. 

Tvman xx

Thanks tvman that's very reassuring xx

Hello Tinalay. My wife had a wheelchair after heart surgery and although it was never going to be long term, she did appreciate it from day one. Everyone we encountered moved out of the way or offered help, I don't recall anyone asking why she was in that situation.

The bit she remembers now is during a country show, she was nose level with the dogs, she loved that! I think people are sympathetic, different from feeling sorry for you and its nice that most people are kind.

I think a spring day with Sula next to you will do you the world of good. I know you try to be a strong person for your family but get out there and let everyone else worry about everyone else. Xxxxx

You’re right Norberry it’s just a mobility aid & will keep me independent for as long as possible.

A couple of years ago after 6 months of gruelling chemo & being completely bald, no eyebrows or eyelashes I put my face & wig on & went off to the local pub.

I arrived at our table to a sea of smiles, and then one of the ladies blurted out, “oh no Tina, that doesn’t look right at all. You haven’t got it right.”

You could have heard a pin drop, so I pulled at it a bit and said is that better and she said “no it’s worse, it doesn’t look right at all”

The others shouted her down but my moment was lost.

I’ll be absolutely fine, the small stuff is probably just a distraction from the bigger stuff.

Love the idea of being at nose level with dogs! 
xx

Wow, I'm outraged on your behalf. What is wrong with people? 

Sometimes I think people try so hard to behave normally that they become abnormal.

Its like ' don't mention the war' on Fawlty Towers.

I have been found to have been too understanding on here at times. Probably like now!

Clear as mud my posts.

Hi ,

It's good to hear that you will be able to get out and about again soon.  Someone mentioned on the forum recently about using a mobile on speaker phone when they met their consultant so that others could be included.  You would probably have to get the agreement of your consultant first.

I have no experience of wheelchairs but have nearly been run over by several mobility scooters in the past.  If you are not happy with how someone responds the scooters travel very fast, the direction is up to you (but the court process is very slow at the moment).

lovely to see you posting again.

love and hugs,

Gragon x

Sadly an elderly gentleman rode a mobility scooter over one of my clients feet, panicked and reversed back over it! That was a massive trauma with life changing consequences for my client. Worse still a good friends mum was knocked over by one before Christmas. As she has a bad chest she was mistakenly thought to be a Covid patient and was admitted to a Covid ward where she did contract Covid. She died weeks later at home of complications and 4 other family members were infected.

 She was nearly 90 but was living independently and her family feel they'll never recover from this loss having protected their mum for a full year and so close to a vaccine.

I've always had a bug bear with giving mobility aids to people with poor motor control.We get used to seeing big mobility scooters parked outside shops and then some poor person staggering around inside with shopping. I have 2 wheelchair dependent friends and have seen some of the (often avoidable) struggles they have just getting about, a litttle consideration goes a long way.

We bit the bullet and have bought a power chair, fairly light weight, manouverable, turns on a dime and designed to go in the shop. To stop just let go of the hand control, that's it, no brakes needed!

I know I'm very lucky to be able to do that thanks to a Critical Care Life Assurence Policy and am very, very grateful. xx

Dear Tina,

I have been thinking about how you new machinery is going to affect you and help you.

Its a new life,  its a different life. In the sunshine with Sula you will learn to love it. In the pouring rain with Sula you may just get a bit fed up. But you will be out and about and when the lockdown is over this new set up will allow you to see people, have a chat, answer rude questions with a rude answer!

I was trying to guess what you would say to me if I had posted instead if you.

I certainly don't have your practical wisdom but I think you may have instructed me something similar. I hope so.

Ps ..... I am not in my cups!

Hi 

Your power chair sounds a little like my motorised scooter. Top speed is 4mph and sometimes I have to tell someone with me to slow down, especially on the pavement when I'm slowing down to negotiate gateways etc. It goes on to every bus I have travelled on as well as trains and London Underground. 

I agree that a lot depends on the user, as well as with a manual wheelchair. I respect able bodied and always smile when I have a door opened for me and thank them. I tell my friends that I am going to change the face of wheelchair users because let's face it, how often do you see a wheelchair user smile? 

I hope you enjoy your chair and have the freedom that you deserve. On a lazy day can someone push you because my scooter isn't easy to push but my manual wheelchair is.

Take care and stay safe Tinalay

Tvman xx