Gallows Humour

Hello owned by Staffies, I've just joined this forum and whether right or not ,I do agree with a lot of what you say I'm probably older than you , in fact I'm probably older than most on here maybe I should change my avatar from "Shedman" to "The Old Git" good luck with your treatment , keep smiling, happy new year

Hi ,

Welcome to the group. It is a good supportive one, we might be having a few issues at the moment but hopefully this too will pass and we can get on with supporting each other, laughing, crying or whatever we need. I am sure there are plenty of "old gits" on here - the age range seems to be quite wide. With age comes wisdom????

Well said, I have made a longer comment elsewhere but you are so right. My step father was in the Ambulance service and I was a nurse. Never has the phrase 'laugh or you will cry' be truer. Humour is an outlet whose importance is under appreciated.

Nicky Nosher and ownedbystaffies I was an intensive care nurse for many years and agree there is a place for gallows humour. Your  excellent posts have pretty much covered everything I was thinking so thank you both for that.

Welcome and Happy New Year to you too. I'm sure there are several 'Old Gits' among us, like a good wine, improving with age.

xx

ownedbystaffies

Hi everyone,

I wasn't about the forum much recently popping onto it only every few days to read the posts and rarely posting or responding so I am not sure what the issues were.  On the times I did log in I saw nothing that upset me personally.

What I can say is that I do love the banter and have indulged myself on the odd occasion in the past.  Providing it is not too personal I enjoy the humour expressed in the group.  I do think that it is important that people posting remain aware of the topic or issue raised by the groups poster as in the past I have seen threads diverging away from the needs of the poster which at times feels disrespectful. There is a group called "Laughter is the best medicine" group which I have not joined.  As we are a diverse group some of the jokes that I have seen are posted on the site are not to my taste.  Some are, I loved Annette's recent Iceland post in the Hello night owls thread.  I think it is a case of knowing your audience.  I'm sorry that I cannot post a link to the "Laughter.." group but you have to agree to join that group before you can access it and it does not appear in the latest posts feed so that it does not upset anyone.

In my 20's I worked in a workplace which regarded swearing as part of everyday language and I bought into this as well.  Then one day I found myself at my family home talking and swearing in front of my 7 year old niece so made the decision to stop or at least reduce my swearing.  Swear words themselves do not offend me but I believe that swearing has to be appropriate to the time, place and setting.  Most people posting use asterisks in place of letters to try avoiding upsetting anyone.  For anyone who was not on the forum at the time our greatly missed Daloni started this thread some years ago "does-anyone-else-swear-all-the-time" .

We have people on the forum who get no benefit from "virtual hugs" but I still offer them to all, pictures of kittens do not make me happy but I have no problem with people posting them.  If you see an emoji on one of my posts then I apologise as it is an error, mainly because I can't be bothered to learn what they are all supposed to mean, so if others post them then I read the post but skim over the emoji.  I have a friend who regularly prays for me despite his being aware of the fact that I am an atheist.  I am not offended that he has chosen to do this as I look at the intent rather than the action.

When I post things I try to remember that we are all different and when I read things I try to consider this as well.

The thread started by about the things people say is a prime example.  I think that we would all agree that some of the comments made by others are totally inappropriate but I recognise that before I was diagnosed I was definitely less aware of what I was saying.  I find this difficult to acknowledge as my father died of oesophageal cancer 15 years ago and I now know that I could have done more and been more supportive to him.   However, I am sure that even now I have still used these comments after diagnosis as it is hard to overcome fifty years of doing something one way and then remembering to do it differently.

As someone who has felt the need on more than one occasion to step back from the forum including standing down as a Community Champion I would not try to tell people not to do this if they need to do so but would encourage them to come back when they feel it is appropriate for them.  It is the diversity of the members which makes it difficult at times but it is equally the diversity of members which makes it work.  I hope to continue to see you all here, hopefully for many years.

love and hugs (even if you don't feel the benefit),

Gragon x

Excellent post Gragon much needed and much appreciated. Will need to read it through several times but I love the way that sometimes another member of the group can put into words thoughts that I‘m struggling to express. xx

Hi Gragon

A very considered and interesting post. Thanks too for the link to the thread from 3 years ago about swearing. There is research that shows that swearing allows people to bear pain better - there was a video  a couple of years ago of Stephen Fry and others putting hand in bucket of icy water, and being allowed to swear freely, or only use sanitised words like "sugar", and it was conclusive that swearing allowed them to put up with it longer. So on that basis I think all of us on here get a free pass to swear as much as we like, if we need to. But I am sure we are all responsible enough not to be offensive about it. My current outpouring of unsavoury words is mainly reserved for the tv whenever there is a politician spouting complete garbage - which is most of the time.

Reading old threads is both interesting but also sad, seeing names of those no longer here. It also really brings home how times have changed and how 3 years ago the idea of a pandemic on top of normal trials and tribulations of cancer was unimaginable. It also brings home that we all live in bubbles of denial, since scientists have been predicting a pandemic for years. I could go on but then it would turn into a rant going far and wide- but thanks again for your post, your return and your wise words to everyone on here.

x

I don't know Gragon, I post some rambling nonsense feeling pleased with myself then find you have posted tbe entire wisdom of Job.

I am with Tinalay in that it will take some re reading. What a treat to have you back. Waitrose still only sells white badger eggs.

Hi Gragon and Ownedbystaffies, Thank you for both posts and the sense you make! I wonder if the newer members realise there is a Group here named "Laughter is the best Medicine" which used to be quite busy but not at the moment because I think people are fed up with Lockdown Etc!

Eelcome back Gragon, it's been far too long!!  I didn't get notification of these posts although I've asked for Everything in this Group but it seems to only notify me if I'VE already posted under the post heading! So I've just seen this!