Triple Negative Breast Cancer now Bone Cancer - New Hot Spots

Hi Violetrose

I am very sorry to meet you here but I have no doubt that several good souls who are all going thru this too will be able to advise better than I can... Just wanted to let you know I was heard you...

I too am "terminal" but I have responded well so far to my treatment - that your oncs are still devising new treatments HAS to be a positive doesn't it? Often we hear of people who have come to the end of possible treatment but that isn't the case for you so try to take the positives (as much as you can...) from that.

If you are new to this community, then you may benefit from knowing that many of us have set out our journey to date (or Bio) and you can access them by clicking on the icon next to the username, in my case quite aptly, the mug...

You have done the right thing by coming to the "incorrigibles" - there are many here who have outlived their "sell-by date" by years and some of them will, no doubt, be along shortly to reassure you and proffer to guidance and gentle encouragement. 

In the mean time,

Stay Strong

SiT

Hi Violetrose

I'm so sorry to have met you here I'd much rather it was elsewhere. It's such a shock to have had your diagnosis, for you, your family and friends. Please be assured that the hurt and sadness that you are feeling now will ease with time. 

Don't feel that you are upsetting anyone here, we've all been through the same emotions and we're all in the same position. Some of your family and friends will not be able to discuss with you and would rather cross the street rather than bump into you because they don't know what to say but you can help by explaining that it's fine to talk about cancer. I don't know how old you are, I'm in my early sixties and I can remember when people would have called cancer the big C and some, my own mother included, would not have said the word cancer but would have mouthed it. I couldn't fathom that some did that, it was as if cancer was afflicted on a person who had committed a serious infringement on society and was being punished.  Thankfully those days are fast disappearing as it's frequently discussed openly in all sectors of the media.

It's encouraging to hear that your consultant is still looking for new treatment and if he's worth his salt he'll be searching for a trial drug. If he doesn't mention it, be sure to let him know that you would be willing to go for a trial drug if that's your choice. There are many of us that are well past their sell by dates as we call it and being given an extension in living.

Your husband's reaction is quite common yet once he has his head round the diagnosis he may well turn out to be your rock as happens often with a spouse. A good friend of mine here in this group has a husband who absolutely insists on driving her to every appointment. So welcome that is to her that he is so strong and devoted to her.  

From the way you're talking, you have a strong resolve and you are ready for a battle. You say that you're fat and fit, as for me, I'm only one of those and it doesn't have an i in the middle 

Take care and stay safe Violetrose. 

Tvman x

Hi Violetrose,

I understand how you feel. I also worry about how my husband will cope when I am am gone. But I know he will because he has to and he will have to get up and take the dog out.

I also have had thoughts about Switzerland but that was when I was in terrible pain and now my pain is controlled I am determined to enjoy the life I have however long it is and find things to look forward to. 
like meeting up with my children. You say you have step grandchildren that must be good to see them whenever you can or on zoom.

my cancer has spread to my lungs liver and brain and I am running out of options. I take an unlicensed drug at the moment which may or may not be helping I have another scan in 2 months and then we will see . The last scan showed there is still progression. The oncologist and  I decided to try a bit longer. While there is treatment there is hope otherwise I will have to come to terms with the fact there is nothing  else at the moment. There are always new discoveries. It is wonderful how they have developed this vaccine for everyone and we will be able to go out again and see people .

We are all scared of dying and deal with it in our own way. I still take one day at a time and try and enjoy the time I have now.

Lots  of love 

Ruth xxx

Hello Violetrose. I can only agree with everyone else. I still feel a bit like you sometimes and I am two years past my sell by date. The mental suffering will ease off, it is not possible to worry yourself senseless for ever, your body will not let that happen. While there are plans and future treatments there is hope. 

Of course you feel like getting your affairs in order, nothing wrong with that and possibly another worry off your mind.

The main thing is, you are not alone, people on here are very wise and experienced, let them take the strain and help you get things in perspective.

If you want to talk there are Macmillan nurses to be found on here and you may have a Macmillan drop in centre near you. 

Best wishes, xxx

Thank you all so much for taking time to reply.  I really appreciate it I honestly do.  Each of you certainly have battles to fight and I hope I can be as strong as you all eventually.

I should have said I’m 54 and only got married last year.  My husband is my rock and has stood by me through 2 cancers now.  He never misses any appointments and chauffeurs me everywhere.  He is the man I wish I’d met 35 years ago.  To have found such love after so many barren years with a control freak is I think one of the reasons I’m finding it hard to accept this and my breakdowns are tinged with so much anger. 

I hear what you say about as long as they are still offering treatment its good - that has helped me.  I wish I could have hypnosis to forget that this is no longer curable.... just so I could focus on the today, not yesterday and not the future.  

thank you so so much for listening.  Im still trying to navigate this new site and lose the groups sometimes so if I go quiet I’m lost in the ether and will be back.  Sending you all my love and wishes of strength I really appreciate you being there.  Sandra