Double Whammy

Oh 

I'm so so so sorry for you. You have had an awful family time lately. There doesn't seem to be a good future for your dear brother. I remember you saying about your twin sister's husband dying. Tragedy. 

It's hard to find anything to say to you that would lift your spirits, I'm trying believe me. Here in Northern Ireland we're a week into what may as well be shielding, it's a circuit breaker they call it. You say that you don't want to face shielding again but I can promise you that if you do have to shield again, I'll be there for you night and day. Is that better or worse lol?

It's great to read that you are so close to your brother and you can be there for each other. Please continue that, you brother will be happy with that and the same for you. 

Take care Tinalay

Tvman xx

, that's not good news. I was thinking they may able to do some radiation to head? Don't think any chemo will work there..and wow it's all coming together for you and your family. The only good thing is that your family is strong together , all for one!! Just want to send you a big hug, not much else i can do. Pet

Oh Tinalay, That wzs a difficult message to read but to write it must have been heartbreaking! I am so sorry your chemo has stopped working and just hope and pray the blood results give the right result so you can have the Target Chemo. You must feel distraught about your young brother having his diagnosis! My older brother died when he was in his early 40's of the same cancer I have but at that time there was no option for any kind of treatment. By that time, I had already survived womb cancer by having a hysterectomy followed by RT, so we chatted for hours about how he felt and how I felt. Both my older sister and my younger sister buried their heads in the sand, as if when they didnt believe it, it couldnt be true! Then about ten years or so ago my older sister's husband died 6 weeks after being diagnosed with Lung Cancer and he had never in his life smoked or drank alcohol except a glass of wine at meals out. When I was dx, my young sister was then and is now still burying her head in. the sand, so doesnt want to know!

Apart from your twin sister, do you have another sister(s)?  I know your brother and you will be there for one another but I hope you can also talk openly with another family member. Talking is good! As Tvman said, we are here for you whenever you need us, just for a chat, or anything! I do hope you will remember that this is primarily what this group is about although we talk of other things too of course!! Is your brother single or married? Do you live in the same area?

I hope you will enjoy your 4 week break and share it with your family, dare I say it, regardless of shielding as there are video calls etc now.  Please enjoy the coming weeks without treatment and give yourself time to build up your strength, mentally and physically to start the new chemo afterwards. I will be thinking about you and your brother and remembering you both in my prayers!

Oh tinaly so sorry to hear your news i hope that your blood sample at London works out for you with a targeted chemo treatment that will work for you one thing I have learnt there is always hope no matter how bad situations are thrown at us you have come too far in your journey we are all here for you with all the support you need you know that huge hugs and loads of love xxxx

Hello Tinalay,

So very sad to read your post. It brought back all my emotions and memories of a similar situation with my younger brother who sadly lost his battle in 2017.

The worst feeling for me was guilt after he died. I was recovering slowly from major surgery at the time but had support from my husband and children. He lived alone and our mum was also very ill at the same time & wasn’t able to look after him the way she would have liked to.

I did see him occasionally & talked to my brother on the phone & sent text messages but I wish I’d been there more for him when he was low. I could have made it a priority but I didn’t. I was also looking after my mum who died 9 months after him. Life had changed dramatically for us as a family in such a short space of time. How can one family have so much sadness?

I’m so hoping the other chemo/targeted therapy works for you and your brother’s results show no spread. A difficult time indeed for you all- Keep being there for each other.   I’ll be keeping you in my prayers.

Much love 

little-fi xx

• Dear Tinalay I am so so sorry to read your news. You must be so devastated about the news of your brother. I pray he can have the surgery followed by chemo so he can have the chance to fight this disease for as long as he can. The piece of hope I can give you is the one thing about aggressive cancer is it responds better to chemotherapy. They told me that when I was diagnosed last december with aggressive stage 4 ovarian cancer that had spread. I'm also going to be praying for you that your blood tests come back from london ok so you can have the other type of chemo that may work for you. Sending you all my love from my heart. My thoughts and prayers are with you and any time you want to come on hear day or night we will all be here for you. You are important and special. Keep fighting the fight. Love Mandy xxxx

Thank you all for your lovely messages of support, they really do help. 

I had one good friend ask me if my brother was competitive, she suggested a competition to see which one of us lasts the longest :(  There's a time and a place for gallows humour and I have yet to see the funny side of my brother's diagnosis.

tvman it's definitely better  I really hope the circuit breaker does the trick and you have things to keep you busy and  things to look forward to. Pet1968 I had gamma knife surgery to a brain and skull tumour a couple of years ago and can't have radiation to the same area twice. If it was a new tumour it would be treated with radiotherapy. Apparently this particular chemo crosses the blood/brain barrier so it's worth a try. Hugs are very much appreciated.

xx

anndanv my twin sister says denial helps her get through the times when things become overwhelming. I'm so sorry you lost your brother at such a young age and then your brother in law so suddenly on top of everything you've been through and are going through, life can be cruel.

We have an older sister, there's only 4 years between the 4 of us so we've always been close. She's booked us girls a 3 night stay in Stamford from Friday.Really looking forward to a change of scene and the chance to forget about it all for a while. Our brother is happily married and has step children and grandchildren. Their middle son was killed in a car accident  in his 20's just as he was planning to get married.

little-fi so sorry to hear your family have been through so much in such a short space of time too. You're only human and recovering from major surgery would be enough for most people let alone looking after your very ill mum and supporting your brother. It would be too much for anyone.

Popgate you're right, as someone said, there is no cure for cancer but thankfully there's no cure for hope either.

Child of divine it's good to know that aggressive cancers respond better to chemotherapy. My brother is already struggling to get adequate nutrition, the size and location of the tumour means he can only have liquids. I'm very touched by everyone who has said they'll keep me in their prayers and as always by the wave of support from people who are dealing with so much in their own lives.

Love to all xx

Hi Tinalay

I see you're going to Stamford. What a beautiful little village that is. My daughter lives in Northborough which is quite near Stamford. Are you staying at the George? We have eaten there but we've no need to stay there with my daughter living so close. 

I don't know if you were around when Aultone (Viv) was on the site, he was due to stay there before he took ill and we were to meet there. We did meet, I can't remember the village but it's where the Cathedral of the Fens is. We did get to meet and we had a great day. Unfortunately he died within a month of that.

Have a lovely stay, wherever you go in Stamford.

Tvman xx

Dear Tinalay

I am keeping my fingers crossed for the possible treatment.

It seems so unfair that your family has so much to contend with. The news about your brother is heartbreaking. I hate how lives can dangle on the results of a scan. 

I am glad you are going away to Stamford - I have always wanted to go there. Enjoy yourselves. Keep safe. I am giving your hand a big squeeze.

Take care xx