Daloni update

Hi again my darling friend, Thank you so much for replying. I'm relieved you're pain free & bubbles are a great place to be!! I've just been released from 12 days in hospital, while they tried to get to the bottom of just shoulder pain - so pleased they have cracked it for you. I'm no further forward at all!! As you probably know I've been given a few months now - so many of us long- standing ones getting this news. I'm off targeted therapy & jußt on steroids for brain Mets. 

Darling friend, both of us have had every possible treatment - you far more than me - and fought thru. It's been a long hard few years all round. I suppose we knew it would catch us in the end but the acceptance can still be hard. You seem to have got your head in the right space to handle what is to come - I only hope I can emulate you & your strength.

Know please that my thoughts, prayers & virtual arms are around you now. So pleased that your girls are  also holding up & hopefully as prepared as they can be. I know you have an amazing network of family & friends that hopefully will hold them close over the coming time.

BUT meanwhile you enjoy being pampered & cared for - pain-free is the only wish. Will send you a PM but can imagine you are getting lots of them my lovely - so put me to the bottom of the list please.

You sound content - long may you stay that way. Big brave lass that you are !!! Pass a bit my way would you??? 

Sending you much much love & those good old virtual (((((hugs))))) Diz xxxxxxxxxxx

And hi to you, my lovely . How would I have got through those first few months of living with the incurable label without you to follow? It was you and Annette anndanv who taught me how to live with cancer rather than die from it. It’s a lesson that I try to pass on here in this community. Thank you so much for teaching me. 

So now we are at accepting it’s the end game and wondering how we do that. Being free from pain and having my bodily needs met with dignity and comfort is certainly helping me. I have decided to stay in this bubble of bliss as much as I can. Sure, it’s hard sometimes to fend off the self pity but I’ve got the techniques already. I can go back to meditation or come here to my incurable pals for virtual hugs. 

I’m glad you’re home but it sounds like you’re still in pain. I hope they can solve this for you. Sometimes it’s a case of lining up all the doctors behind the end of life truth. Doctors are often reluctant to accept that nothing can be done. It wasn’t until everyone agreed in my case that we’d reached the end of the treatment road that the pain team were able to step in and solve the problem. My problem was pain; no cancer treatment was going to solve it. Does that make sense? 

So my darling friend. How will you fare with acceptance? I think you’ll fall back on the lessons you’ve learned already. You’ll keep your dark moments private and show your brave face to the world. You’ll help your kids, however old they are, because that’s what mums do. All I can tell you is to let go. Just a little bit at a time. Let go. It will be alright. 

I like to think of us with our arms around each other, all of us in this community. We are dancing and holding each other up. How about that for a place to lay your weary head for a moment? 

Lots of love, dear dizzie 

xxxxxxx Daloni 

Hi Daloni,

I am so pleased for you that you now do not have pain.
I have been in that place when I wanted to die and even thought about ways to end it . Though I wouldn’t have done it.

Afterwards I realised that it was only because of the pain and feeling so ill. Once the pain was better and I was not feeling so ill I am happy to be alive and enjoy doing things I enjoy and seeing my family. Sometimes it is the little things that make us happy

lots of love 

Ruth xxx

Friends

My arms are sending gentle hugs. Xx

Much love

hi ruthjp

I know what you mean. Take away the pain and I’m happy to be alive. 

Ive been so tired today. I have done very little but sleep all day. Is this going to be a new pattern or is it a one off? Time will tell but it is what has been predicted. I don’t feel any urge to fight it and it’s not unpleasant. I sleep a bit, I am awake for ten minutes, then I go back to sleep. 

Right. Back to sleep....

Xxx

Enjoy your sleeps and the peace that goes with it. As well as being cared for so well.

i have several sleeps and sleep well at night 

xxx

Dearest Daloni, Methinks you give me too much credit for showing you the way!! You have led from the front every step of the way thru unimaginable stress & trauma. What a shining example you are to the world of Cancer! Would I have stepped in front of cameras, committees etc -no way !!! But you have gone every extra inch let alone mile!!

I love the imaginings of us all dancing together in the Community - Suzie's already got the party going. Keep in that "bubble" &don't let anyone care touch it. Crazily Dexamethasone seems to have built me a bubble of euphoria too - anyone else felt that I wonder?? Thoroughly enjoying it is all I can say.

Sending you much love & more of those special hugs.

Diz xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Daloni 

what do you think?

Hi Daloni 

Excuse me for intruding but I have been a lurker here for years after a parent received a cancer diagnosis. I find it a comfort to be around a cancer community, even though I’m not very active. I have come across many posts made by you Daloni. You are so loving and supportive. I just wanted to say that I think you are an amazing person, wish I’d said this sooner but I’m a little shy. Best wishes for your onward journey xx 

Hey Daloni

I don't tend to read here very much anymore. Something told me to visit this group tonight. I am pleased you are comfortable and relaxed at the hospice. Keep in that dreamy bubble all snug and warm. Take care Daloni x