D I Y CANCER.

Hi ,

I'm sorry to hear about your big girl.  It is really unfortunate but understandable as the stress is bound to have exacerbated her mental health issues.  It is though very sad as you say. 

I hope that you and your other girl can enjoy a big hug when you get home, I'm sure it will be the best painkiller in the world for a while.  Is your sister able to come and stay for a while or do you have other arrangements planned?

I would imagine that you are looking forward to relaxing at home on the sofa all snuggled up or perhaps being in the garden admiring your sunflower.  Hopefully once you are settled the pain management team can got things a bit more stable for you and you can get your mobility aids sorted out.

It is not only here that you are loved.  I would imagine that lots of your neighbours will want to help you out where they can as well.

You have supported so many people on the site it is not surprising that they want to support you back.

Sending you lots of love and hugs,

Gragon xx

Thank you for sharing your story. I find it can help to write it down. I can’t believe how brave you all are faced with so much pain every day I have had nerve pain and know how bad it can get and the dark place you can go . But you are amazing and the help you give me and others I am so proud of you Daloni and tv man I read your posts every day.

i am in a good place right now and keeping going with my last holiday on sight .

the lockdown can be a blessing if you can’t face going out.

it is good to talk to people where you can be honest as I don’t want to upset my family and keep up a good front for them 

lots of love xxx

Daloni,

I have not posted on her for a while now I just lost the will to post for a variety of different reasons.  Although I do sign in every few days and read the news about how the community are getting on.

However, this is one post I could not let pass by without a response.  I am sure you have so many responses both privately and on this thread.

I just want to say I am thinking of you and am so very saddened by your latest post regarding treatment (or not). It is a decision that we will all have to face at some stage.

I have no words really to share other than all of those that have already said to you.

I hope you can go home and be comfortable in your surroundings with your family (sorry to learn about big girl as well). 

Be strong lovely lady - don't lose your spirit.

Iamlyn

xx

Dear

Just catching up. Sorry I’m late to join the post. Daloni, you have made some hard decisions after hearing some bad medical news. I am sad to hear it, but I remain amazed how brave and strong you are.  And as you have mentioned this a decision that all of us will face we are all immortal. 

You have always been a beacon of light for me and all of us. 
I hope you have your pain meds and pain in hand. 
Sorry to hear about your eldest daughter that is hard.
I’ll say a prayer tonight . 

Hugs and love to all,

Millie

Hi Daloni 

I read very carefully everything that you have written . I hope deeply and with much love that they can find a ways to make your time at home more pain free to spread your love to your best girls, family friends and us .

For me you have not over shared you have been your usual wonderful, thoughtful considered self. We have not known each other for very long, however your kindness, insight ,warmth and affection for others makes me feel as if we have known each other for years. You are a delight, funny , quirky , knowledgable with great insight . I appreciate your clarity and well made points. I also like your creative side and your sense of humour! 
At times when I didn’t know where to turn you have been the hand held out to guide me on the way. I cannot put in worlds how much I appreciate what you have and have continued to do for me.  So I hope you get out of hospital and home, that they can  help you with your pain. It appeared difficult and as usual you had thought about many things, however I hope there is something else they can offer. I send my love to a remarkable woman who has touched my life and we haven’t even met in person ! You are a remarkable person and I am better for knowing you . Take care love Tamencio xx

Dear !

I'm not so good with words, but i would like to let you know we all cannot imagine being here without you, you're something very special, a great person and i'm sure a great mum too. 

I hope you older daughter will come home soon to, at least for a bit so you can hug each other.

Thinking of you, Hugs Pet

Hi

Your strength shines through and even though we have never met physically, you are clearly an amazing role model for your girls and for the rest of us. I don't think that you do half measures and I salute you for that. I also think that you should be proud of yourself and how you have lived your life. Even now we can all see  your steely determination to do it your way until the very end. (Is that Frank Sinatra I can hear crooning away?).

More power to your elbow, lovely lady. We are all with you until the fat lady sings (I am that fat lady).

I have no words. Know that my thoughts and wishes are with you and your daughters.

I believe you are the guide and comfort for many of us on this forum. Your courage and honesty shine through every post. Your insights have helped me enormously, and I know that I am not alone in that.

I hope your team can get you safely home with enough pain relief to make you comfortable. 

With much love

Xx

Hi Daloni

Hope things are getting easier for you, sorry i've been off line for a few days so missed your difficult time i just hope you know how much you have helped so many of us, even now just reading your post it brings the reality to us all.

I met up with my Palliative care nurse , i made a decision to try one last hope chemo that could hold it a bit longer, as we are in lock down still so i can't go off the island so quantity came to mind, ahead of quality. May get time to see family again.  I had my first chemo yesterday a low dose test first which at the moment , first day is working well.

I do hope you let family and friends rally round, its difficult letting them when you are used to coping alone, my husband died 10 years ago  (after 47 years ) so i had to sort everything then , my sons life and work is in France so trying to make things easy for him here.

Hope you feel better at home and give us more wisdom and courage. Love to you  C J 

Thank you all for your kindness and love. I am dictating this into my little iPhone from a bed still in hospital. The pain took a massive hike after my last post. The doctors don’t really know what to do about it. I’m on a syringe driver now, and it’s cycling me through sleep and pain, sleep and pain. It’s no life and I can’t see a way home. I’m very low and very frightened. The tumour that’s causing the pain is not amenable to treatment. The nerve block won’t work because of where and what the tumour is, and the drugs aren’t very effective. I keep asking my doctors is this what the future holds? More and more pain as the tumour grows and they’re unable to address it. I don’t answer straight. They say there are things I haven’t tried yet. I’m not hopeful. This is as low as I’ve ever been I think.

I may get transferred to the hospice tomorrow. At least that would be nice. There is a garden and I might be able to see my family. We shall see. I’m sorry I can’t write or reply to anyone else at the moment. I just can’t.

My love and best wishes to all of you howover