Facing the end

Hello Mottram, 

Firstly, my heart pours for you and your husband. I completely understand you. I'm sorry this cruel and callous cancer has attacked you so horribly. You are so inspiring in your tenacious fight to keep on top of your Cancer. I don't have the right words to express huge sympathy for you in the situation you find yourself. You are facing it so bravely. So brave. It had to have been a most horrible decision. You are not giving in to your disastrous nightmare, you are facing it like a heroic soldier. You don't have an end date, you decide it. If there is a better more promising treatment comes your way that you may feel it worth a try but as things are I'm so sorry you're in the horrible predicament.

My best wishes, you are clearly an upright and very wise person. I'm humbled reading and responding. You very well may be able to fight it with your own personal positive and outlooking nature. G-d bless you.

Rafs

Hi

it is a horrible position to be in. Forgive me if you have already tried this but have you been in contact with your local hospice? Mine has been wonderful and they offer support and counselling for me and my family. At the moment it is mostly by phone but they have helped me make arrangements for my last days, they have sorted out a wheelchair for me, offered financial advice and grants and couldn't have been better. I hope to not need them for a year or so and I am still undergoing palliative chemotherapy but they develop brilliant relationships with people in need before you need them. They do so much more than just the last bit. Your specialist cancer nurse and/or GP  can refer you. Your husband may benefit from the contact and from knowing he is not alone. My husband struggles with the same issues and occasionally seeks comfort in drink which works for him, not that I am recommending this approach but I think it is harder for them than it is for us. We can see an end to the pain, for them it goes on and I know my husband feels so helpless witnessing my struggles and he is worried that he won't cope without me. It breaks my heart to watch him struggle.

Finally knowing that there is someone he can turn to, that someone will ensure that you don't die in pain and that you get the ending you both want has to be a comfort.  Some people die at home, some choose the hospice. I have chosen the latter so my family don't have the responsibility of tending to my physical needs when they can't cope any more. 

Don't be afraid to ask for help for you both, Macmillan also give a lot of good advice. Hopefully arrangements made now will give peace of mind later. I certainly am more relaxed knowing everything is sorted, and now I can get on with living the best life I can in the time I have left.

Obviously if you have already sorted everything, please ignore my wittering.