Hi there...introducing myself

Ho my name is andrew and I got given the beed my cancer has spread to much to treat..I feel the same as you..lost..I havnt seen pallative care yet but I'm wondering do I go in a hospice near the end or stay at home but then a family will find me which I dont want but I do want to be in my own home..Its a hard decision to make..Plus how do we know when the end is here..I hope your comfortable and have more life than you think left in you..Wish I had some answers but I just dont know what's going to happen apart from the obvious

Hello Cesca

I am sorry we had to meet under such sad circumstances. I am not surprised that you are confused and needing support. I am sure you will find help here. It is difficult right now. Glad you have friends to help you, I think you will find a few more on here.

I also have a tumour in my stomach/oesophagus and  can relate to the symptoms you describe. Do you have a Macmillan nurse? 

Take care for now, I hope we speak again

X

Hi Cesca

sorry to meet you under the circumstances but I am glad you have found the group. It is good to read you have lots of friends supporting you following your diagnosis and you will find a lot more supportive friends on here . Like Flower Lady look forward to getting to know you. We are a supportive inclusive bunch, you can share anything here and there are always people around for a chat. Take care .

Hi Welshjack

i am please d to hear from you even under the current circumstances . This is a club many would not have wanted to be members of but very supportive and there will always be someone to have a chat with . Everyone’s journey on here is different , it is the opportunity to talk to a lot of people get some advice and ideas, then decide for your self what you want to do . We all support each other , welcome and take care .

• Can they do an operation for you..They can use the stomach to replace the osophegus..I couldn't have one as my lungs are not strong enough..To much Radiotherapy damaged my esophagus so much I cant swallow anything mot even fluids so I hope you can avoid that.Stay safe and take.

Thank you , flowerlady, and for your lovely responses.

flowerlady I don't have a Macmillan nurse, in fact I haven't actually contacted Macmillan yet and didn't know you could have a nurse. Is it worth me calling them?

there is nothing they can do. They went in to do a staging laparoscopy, but the tumour was too large to remove, so they did the gastroenterostomy and told me that I could try palliative chemo, which I did, but which made me so ill I'm still recovering from it! I had to stop after two days.

Thank you for the warm welcome. Looking forward to getting to know you all x

I dont have a Macmillan nurse but it wont harm phoning them and seeing what they can do for you I'm sure they will help.

Your GP can refer you for Macmillan nurse, or you can get in touch with local hospice and they will help.

This is what i done for my hubby, they where brilliant, he was at home for two weeks and they came to the house, until such times it was not the best for him, he spent five days there and passed.

They where brilliant angels from heaven.

Take Care Elliexx

CESCA

I started my ' journey' 2017 and haven't got sorted yet , I too live alone so really need to sort everything. I haven't even met palliative care yet. I have a Video call on Monday to my Oncologist to see what my Scan has shown. I think i am at the Quality or Quantity time.  You are getting sorted give yourself time to feel stronger to make choices. I have Lupus R/A also which is causing me pain and breathlessness ,hopefully that is being looked into now.

I hope you get help from this site, and can be supported as i have been.  Love C J 

& (Andrew)  Welcome to the "Incoragables" (no I didn't misspell it Lol) As the others have said, sorry to meet you here but glad you found your way! I remember when I was first diagnosed and the Oncologist told me I had Stage4 Malignant Melanoma and would maybe have 5-7 months, IF I was lucky, I was shell shocked! My husband and I left the hospital thinking, what happens now! The next day I looked up McMillan on my computer and put in my postcode to see if there was anywhere in my area I could talk to someone. It turned out, they had a Drop In Centre once a week at a local library. When I explained why I was there, they asked did you talk to your McMillan Nurse? I told them I didn't have one so they told me to contact my GP who would refer me to my local hospice, which is what I did.

My next appointment for Oncology was two weeks later and I asked the oncologist if I had a McM nurse because I was told everyone had one! It turned out the other person in the room with the oncologist (who wasn't in any uniform) WAS my McM nurse! I thought she was an assistant or registrar! After my appointment she took us to her office and explained what happened next! It was such a relief to speak to someone who was in control and told me the oncologist wanted me to apply for a trial drug and gave me the details.

Im telling you both this to let you know you are not alone! This is a rollercoaster ride you have just started on but things will slow down and become clearer for you I hope. So I urge you both to contact your GP, your oncologist's secretary (the hospital will give you the number) or phone the Helpline on this website, it's a free 0800 number and after one of these, I hope you feel better about the whole situation. Decisions can wait until you have spoken to someone. Please write down ALL your questions, so that you won't forget any when you speak to one of these professionals.

Please let us know how you get on, you are part of this group now!