Meltdown

Heya Mrs,

I'm glad to hear that you found a way to vent, but I'm sorry that it got to such a stage. I'll admit, I've been concerned about you, wondering how you were getting on, and frowning at the silence. But, I never reached out and I'm sorry about that!

I'm dropping you a friend request, then I've no excuse!

Lass

xx

I think it's better out of my system! This lockdown is bad for my mental health.

Interesting conversation with a Spanish friend of a friend. She is incurable same as us, and lives mostly in Spain with her parents - she prefers to have her treatment there despite her husband living here! There has been no shielding message for vulnerable people over there. She has continued to go out, with the restrictions, as her oncologist does not think she is anymore at risk than anyone else.

She wears a mask but has continued to go shopping etc. It's clear to me that my mental health has plummeted over the past few weeks, and I have allowed myself a very short walk each day to try to combat this. Hard to decide what to do for the best, and I understand why we have been advised to stay in.

Lots of love. Xx

Hi flowerlady,

I have always been pragmatic when it comes to the shielding advice.  It is impossible for me to avoid my wife, son and MIL in what is effectively a two bedroom house.  My wife doesn't drive and it was only a few weeks ago that I finally got on a supermarket home delivery list.  I was happily driving my wife to the supermarket and sitting in the car watching the world queue up in between reading my kindle and waiting for her.  A couple of times when driving back I have gone the long way around just to see a bit more scenery.  I go for fairly regular walks bearing in mind my limited range and in my town find it easy to distance from others.  I have considered driving a few miles out of town and going for a walk where I can get into nature but avoid others.

I know that the government advice did recognise that anyone who had less than six months to live might want to balance the risks against the possibility of not seeing loved ones again or enjoying a walk outside before the lockdown ended.  Given than no one ever knows when they have six months left to live I think we have to make our own decisions on this.  Especially as we also don't know how long the lock down might last.

I'm generally quite happy to leave the shopping to my wife especially as I can now get groceries online.  I do feel guilty when she has to queue for the post office to post a letter for me.  If you can get out into places where you aren't going to bump into lots of people then the risks are reduced and I for one see nothing wrong with going for a walk.  I am now actually looking forward to my next hospital appointment in about three weeks when I have to drive 30 miles each way.  I suspect I will be driving really slowly with the windows open and may even time it so that I can stop in a layby for a flask of coffee on the way back.  I might even have a scream if it doesn't ruin the mood.

love and hugs,

Gragon x

Hi Gragon!

I think you are right and it's a balancing act. I now realise that I know best how to cope, and that means getting away from my everyday surroundings and doing that in a safe way.  

We drove a short way yesterday so I could walk down a country lane, and it felt amazing. I could smell blossom and see sheep. 

Enjoy your hospital trip, and scream if you feel it will help. Maybe we need screaming booths or similar? I am they would be well used.

Lol

Xx

Hi flowerlady I'm pleased to read you now realise that it's up to you to try and get the balancing act right as only you know how you feel and what helps! I can't walk far but still get pleasure and content myself going out into the back garden, putting seeds and nuts out for the birds and then sit, if it's hot enough, under the parasol listening to their songs and trying to identify each one. Regardless of weather, I pop in and out several times a day and each time there's something different to see or hear. Like the squirrel hanging upside down on the rotary drier trying to get into the 'squirrel proof' nut holder! It made me laugh so much as he persevered for over fifteen minutes, I ended up putting some nuts on a plate for him and then watched him scare away the birds so he could eat them without hassle. My husband was laughing, asking why I bought squirrel proof holders if I was going to feed them anyway! I told him the squirrel deserved it and anyway the bulbs he normally went for were either under wire or starting to grow, so he couldn't get into mischief! I hope you are still feeling better and find lots of things to look at that make you happy!

I agree Gragon, we have to make our own decisions given our situation. I go for a walk with my husband every day. We live in a quiet area with lots of retired people who are also keen to keep away from others. The shielding advice affects others as well. My husband feels there would be no point in me shielding if he went into shops or met friends (when it is allowed). I think this will go on for a long time and perhaps people will fall by the wayside. It’s a very tough thing to contemplate, especially with everything else the vulnerable are coping with. 

Hello Anndanv

My parents have a real squirrel problem - they have pinched the peony flowers! I didn't know squirrels liked flowers?

I feel better having had a short trip in the car out to a quiet country lane where I could walk and feel safe, and it will be something to look forward to each week. 

Also, I am going to try making my own candles which should keep me busy.

x

I have just had a text conversation with a friend who is very concerned that things are now moving too fast and she is worried about going out. I have came down on the side of people will need to do what is best for them whilst of course being mindful of others and being careful. I am just managing to make it round my small garden at present but I would love to be able to get out in the country away from it all. I don't see what difference me breathing in my back garden with people next door is to me being out in the countryside with probably just my husband for miles. 

I have an appointment at the hospital later today, it was going to be a phone call but when I emailed to ask for some info pre the call due to my hearing difficulties I got a call to say I could have a face to face. Just as well as I am really not feeling too well and the one bit of information I got says I have a superimposed infection on my lungs I am not sure if that is good news or bad. What I do know is I have had it since January and I am not having any treatment for that or the cancer. Perhaps there is no treatment but at least I can ask. 

Hi flowerlady  I'm pleased to hear you had a nice trip out and felt the better of it. Our son sent us photos on Whatsapp the other day of when he took our grandson who's 5 out in the afternoon. He's been taking him out every afternoon since Lockdown started, on his bike, scooter, playing football or just walking. While out the other day they met the Chairman of the local golf club who suggested to him he go to the golf club for a walk. Our son did that the following day and our grandson loved it. Our son made it like an adventure walk, picking out trees, wild flowers etc and there are bridges to walk over. They saw squirrels, foxes and two deers. They didn't see anyone else on their walk and my son suggested my husband could take me in the wheelchair as the main path is cement. It is five minutes from us and when we went it was terrific. The wildlife seemed to have taken over. As well as the deers etc we saw a falcon, a hedgehog and an owl!

It really does your heart good to be with nature and when we got home the cuppa and rolls for lunch were very welcome as it was very cold but if you are wrapped up, very enjoyable! I hope you do make it a regular thing Flowerlady. Just think how many golf clubs are closed for golf but as long as you follow the country code, no one will object to you taking a walk! I wonder has anyone else walked at a golf club? We have a canal not far from the house but there are lots of people walk there regularly so we don't feel it is safe!

Enjoy your walk everyone but stay safe!!

. Hi Maz !

I'm glad you can see them now face to face..and please, if you cannot hear or understand things...ask again!!!

Hope the can sort you out there, Pet