Confused ‍♀️

Hi Metz

Oh dear, what a shock for you, I'm sure you don't know which way to turn, my sympathies to you. You have come to the right place for support from fellow incurables who will provide emotional support for you.

The best place to start is with the MacMillan helpline, they are invaluable for all types of advice. Their number is

0808 808  0000

Good luck

Tvman x

Hi Metz

I am sorry to hear this, can you get some help from family or friends to help you sort the paperwork side of things? On a practical level I contacted a solicitor and got a Will drawn up and gave power of Attorney to my husband and daughter for finances and health so that my wishes will be carried out. If you haven't already got one get a DS1500 from your cancer team which will allow you to automatically get the higher rate of PIP benefits on a fast track. I don't think that is means tested. There may be other benefits but Macmillan will be able to advise you on that. 

I think that some insurances/mortgage cover and pensions will also pay out of you have the forms but you will need to contact them and find out what they need to make a claim. Depending on circumstances you can also arrange what happens to pets if you have any. Finally look after yourself as best you can both physically and mentally and access counselling if you think it will help. I am currently on the waiting list for this. I also asked my GP for occasional sleeping tablets for those nights when I needed sleep. 

I am sorry that this is the bare bones, others can be more detailed and specific but I hope that it gives you somewhere to start. I found that time helps me cope a bit better, there is only so much crying that you can do in a day.

Hi

I sent you a message this morning but it got eaten by t!he gremlins

I think I sent you a friend request too .... Will double check that

Take a look at my profile , if I can help........

Sue

Hi

I am so sorry to hear the cancer is back and after such a long time too. I always thought if you’d made it to five years then the chances of recurrence were really small.

I can imagine that you feel overwhelmed right now. There’s so much to sort out just when you would really like the world to stop so that you can get off for a while. The added complication of the corona virus is making everything harder too. 

Would it help to break it down into a list? My top three things to deal with in your situation is as follows: 

Finances 

Paperwork/admin 

Health and well-being 

I think others have given you some really good advice already on the first two. Nicky Nosher is right. PIP is not means tested ahx it’s currently worth about £150 a week at the higher rate. You need a DS1500, more info here 

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/sick-or-disabled-people-and-carers/pip/help-with-your-claim/how-to-claim-if-terminally-ill/

The Macmillan helpline can arrange for you to talk to their financial advisers and I know lots of people find this really useful. 

As for your health and well-being, the starting place is your GP. When I was first told the cancer was back I went to see my GP to ask what help was available. I was referred to the hospice and had fantastic support ranging from help with  pain relief to counselling. In the current situation, you’re likely to be classed as “extremely vulnerable” for corona. You can register as vulnerable which puts you to the top of the list for supermarket deliveries and opens up help from your local council. 

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/guidance-on-shielding-and-protecting-extremely-vulnerable-persons-from-covid-19/guidance-on-shielding-and-protecting-extremely-vulnerable-persons-from-covid-19

https://www.gov.uk/coronavirus-extremely-vulnerable

This community is also brilliant for moral support. Please don’t be a stranger. There’s no question too small and there’s always someone with a broad shoulder you can lean on. We can’t do much practically but we can do one very important thing: listen. You’re not alone. 

This must all look very daunting. My advice is to focus on the things you can control such as applying for PIP and writing a will. 

Love and hugs xxx

So sorry to hear your diagnosis ,I,but still keep your positivity, I had breast cancer 14 yrs ago and it reared it’s nasty head 2 years ago  again this time my ovaries liver and bowel,shock-horror, they gave me 18mths after my surgery and I’me still going ,been on holidays and generally keep well, so stay positive and keep busy,I sorted loads of stuff out for the charity shops and went through drawers etc ,just putting things in place and sorting out what’s important, talking openly with my family who have given me some lovely words of support ,and generally just getting on with life which is what I’me here for ,my love to you and please stay safe .

Hi You have been given lots of practical advice here and I think you have enough to be getting on with. I went to read your profile page but there's no details there of whether you are single,married etc or if you have children at home or living away. I do hope you are not on your own and have someone to talk to. However, now that you've joined this amazing Group, you will always have support, even although it's virtual support, after a while it doesn't feel like that. The main thing I would say, after you've written your "To Do" list and started on it, is remember you are still living, so try to say incurable, as we all are here, instead of terminal. Focus on every day as it comes and don't worry yourself sick. That would be a terrible waste. I'm passed my given sell by date but I know when my time comes, there will be no regrets and nothing will be left unsaid, which will help my family as well as my self!

This is a big virtual (((HUG))) I hope you can feel it! Stay safe and stay positive. The latter isn't easy but worth the effort!