Hello night owls and the rest

Well not quite bedded down yet but I have moved the bed and although no one helped me they did not stop me so I will take that. 

All I can say is that if anyone of them assaults me tonight I am not standing for it there is no need to do these pain response things when they already know I cannot respond even if I feel it. 

I will take whatever sleep I can tonight but I will be leaving tomorrow. It is a circus in here the thumb in the clavical nurse has just tried to insist I take an inhaler the doctor told me I was to stop as the are giving me IV steroids instead and when I looked at it it is not my inhaler and contains alcohol which I am severely allergic to. 

The new lady in the bay is debating whether she should go home and her daughter is staying as long as possible tonight as she has complex medical needs and they overheard my conversation with the nurse. 

It is a big worry all this but too big for me to fight at present I am just being very vigilant. If I were paranoid I could think it is only me they are trying to get rid of. 

Aw Maz, 

Your description cannot be from an NHS hospital, it sounds like it's from one of the hospitals in a third world country. I feel nauseated just reading about it, how did you feel looking at it, never mind being asked to stay there. 

Too late now but if you had taken photos of the conditions then you would have had a rock solid case to take to the media. There can be no excuse to expect you to stay somewhere like that.

I took a couple of photos of the disabled toilet in one of the main hospitals in Belfast and sent it to the head of the cleaning department, apart from no soap, no hand towels and a disgusting toilet bowl, there was no toilet seat! I kid you not. It was clear that no one had checked that particular toilet for a long time. 

The way you were treated was horrendous, you're one of the most seriously ill patients in hospital, the best and most effective treatment should go your way, not an all round substandard third worldesque display of incompetence and ignorance. You should expect a higher standard of cleanliness and nursing from the jewel in the crown of the world's healthcare

In cases such as what you gone through, don't hesitate to blow the whistle in order that there is a chance that no one else has to endure even half of what you had to suffer.

Take care Maz

Tvman xx

 Oh Maz, this seems a never ending nightmare, full of incompetent people. It is indeed just as well you are vigilant, otherwise who knows what would have happened! Giving you an inhaler when the doctor told you not to use it, that is bad enough, but to give you someone else's is criminal!

I'm not happy about saying this, and wouldn't normally, but once you speak to the oncologist, please go home! Ask the oncologist where there is a "competent" hospital that you could go to IF you need help once you get home. I for one would definitely not be going back there and would be writing a strong formal complaint letter to the person in charge, with copies to your oncologist and GP.             Or get a member of the family to write it so you can concentrate on getting better! Now if I sound upset, it's because I am, on your behalf. 

If your new roommate's daughter is staying, I'd tell her to take notes and look out for her mum!

Sending a gentle virtual (((hug))) for you and a kick up the pants for the staff! This hospital should be closed down ASAP.

Hi Maz

I'm starting to crumble Maz, I'm so upset at your treatment. You're allergic to alcohol yet once again someone is handing you an inhaler that contains alcohol. 

That type of incompetence can result in the death of a patient. Someone like you who has, as is called, underlying health problems, has a run down defense mechanism. It sounds like you have the bit between your teeth which is good. The member of staff who has been trying to get you to take medication that contains a product to which you have a severe allergy, is incompetent and should be taken to task.

As I've said before, I abhor poor service, whether it is from the health service or other. I think of people who could possibly be damaged by way of wrong medication or the wrong strength of medication that someone could be given that can severely damage their health. Maz, in your own case try to keep a written record of what errors they're making as well as strange ideas or decisions they have. 

Tvman xx

Well folks still here again but I am being given a wide berth by the nurses as they did not like me disclosing some of what was going on to my consultant. 

He led into it quite well as he arrived with a junior doctor and announced to me and I have the little ring of staff first thing first I have warned no alcohol or alcohol products near this one. So I said you may like to look in my medicines cabinet then. It he was horrified and just said but you haven't taken it. I said no but the nurse was not happy and I suffered for it. The sister then asked why the drawer was open so o explained she threw it in there after saying I was silly but she could not force me to take it and left it open. Then she refused to help me move my bed. The lady opposite said so doesn't like Mary she threw her anti biotics it the bin the night before then they could not get anymore. I then asked if he could do anything about the pain infliction he said he never used it and thought it was barbaric but unfortunately it was down to who was present at the time.  

I was getting daggers from the sister but I wanted it known. 

He needs more tests etc. So i have agreed to stay but hopefully not long. 

I will move my own bed tonight as I am able to and just keep my head down and get out hopefully soon with some answers to make things better so I am not back here. 

That is all I am doing as I need to build my strength back up and get well. 

Thanks for all the support 

Hi Maz

You're doing the right thing. The sister can glare at you all she wants, the buck stops with her. You hang on in there Maz, she won't let it happen again on her watch.

Tvman xx

Hi Maz, I'm so pleased you have told the Consultant just what it's like in there, good for you! The sister has no excuse now as she can't say she didn't know what was going on! You are right, just keep your head down, get the tests done and then hopefully it will be time to get home! Could you maybe ask your last visitor of the day to turn your bed for you, in case you strain yourself!, Good luck, I hope things will be better in the morning, after you awake from a good nights sleep! Night night  love Annette xxx  

Hi Annette 

I don't have any illusions that anything I said will make one bit of difference but I at least said it and nailed my colours to the mast as it were. It got me a wide berth and huffy looks for a while which was light relief for the bay for a day. However 2 families have came to me and thanked me for giving them the courage to speak out about care also. I have suggested they join the MacMillan community. It is at times like this you realise how great it really is.

I unfortunately did not get home but was shipped off to another ward at midnight. So I now reside on the Caridac ward for hopefully a short while. Apparently the technology needed would not WiFi far enough. 

I was actually very anxious about the move as even with everything that has happened on oncology it is the ward I know and you always feel that it cant get any worse. It is very quiet up here and my bay is a bit lifeless but the difference in the staff's attitude has been amazing.  I was all ready for another night of sitting in a chair with a pillow on the wall to get a few winks ( I got night light bed again) they saw me struggling and they moved my bed round and checked me regularly even coming this morning to chat. 

Hopefully today will be home more likely tomorrow if they need 24 HR monitoring. Managed to get some results back yesterday hence the move. Others should come back today so I have to be glad my oncologist has managed to get this much done while I am an inpatient. 

Will be good to get home and even better to get home with some solutions so I don't just end up back here. 

Still focusing on my day out in York on Saturday and hoping it is a reality. 

Every little comment and virtual hug has really helped even just knowing people are taking the time to read these threads and think about you even if they don't comment is pretty amazing. 

Dear maz 

been reading your messages ,finger s crossed for your day in York on Saturday,will be great for you to get there 

amazed that cardiac ward is better than oncology ward ,obviously depends on staff 

hope you come home very soon ,i feel so very sorry for you ,actually tearful reading your hospital stay ,so goodness knows how you have felt 

hope today is a better day for you

positive thoughts as always

janet

xxxxxxxx