How to carry on with life

Hi , I am sorry you have started the day feeling a bit down, especially as your profile says you are a positive person and your replies in head in the sand say hope hopeful your being. I read your profile etc to get some better insight in to what to say. You have said yourself that you get into bad moods because of your chemo so I’m hoping after getting your bad mood feelings out that that in it’s self may help you feel a bit better. I know it does for me, I can then read back what I’ve written and analyse if what I’ve written is just a feeling at that time that in a better mood wont seem as bad, or are there some things that I can and need to do something about. (I was told I was incurable in 2015, my treatment has gone well but I still have blips and doubts creep in, I can’t expect to be positive all the time).

The Lymphoedema that you mentioned that they haven’t done anything about I haven’t had, but there is an ask an expert section that might help where you could ask a question, I had a look and there are some good links from one of the experts in the answer I’m putting a link to below.

https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_experiences/ask_the_expert/ask-about-lymphoedema/f/ask-about-lymphoedema/188277/excerises?Page=0#1389777

Money and disappointment with your nurse over not helping with a Macmillan grant, have you wrong the Macmillan support line so see what the lovely professionals on there can suggest for action. They may be able to ease your mind with your renting anxiety.

Cooking, and eating well not all nice things have to be cooked, but I have a soup maker where you bung all the ingredients in and the machine stirs it and makes enough for 4 to 6 meals so I freeze the left overs and I can add different herbs and vegetables to get some variety. It copes with using pre chopped frozen veg as well as fresh veg. 

“How to carry on with life” and “What’s the point of this suffering” well they are the big questions, which I will leave that discussion to the lovely people who post here more often than I do who have read the uplifting books. I will just add that I tried to find what I liked doing and do more of it. At times I want a bit more meaning to life which is why I volunteer. The suffering well that helps us appreciate the better days but other than that it isn’t something that we want to have or would wish on others. 

I hope you managed to get some sleep and that things are currently not feeling as bleak.

Dear Janet500

You don't have to apologise, it's completely understandable that you feel like this. It's very difficult with treatment, life issues etc

 Try Macmillan, they can help with many things. I understand about the tenancy - I rent and it can feel insecure. Do you have to move or can you continue? 

It's not an easy time of year either, I hope this is merely a blip and that you feel better for explaining your feelings. 

Take care, you aren't alone. Xx

Dear I’m so sorry that life is getting on top of you, while you are having to cope with your cancer and treatment. One of the things that’s hard to deal with is despite having cancer the other rubbish things in life continue to happen and can overwhelm even the strongest of people. I have streamlined my life and taken things back to basics, I get good support from my palliative care doctor and my friends at the local hospice. I don’t feel supported by my cancer doctor, it feels like being on a production line, so I look for support elsewhere. Everyone here understands and we are happy to support you during this bumpy time.

Hello and thank you for your support.I feel bit better.The tenancy agreement saying end of February but I thought they should contact us if they definitely want to us to move out.I am anxious because there is so difficult to find  nice place in London.

Hi Johnty and thank you for your kind words.I don't want to contact the hospice I know maybe they offer good support but I don't think its for me.Would make me more sad I assume.Its terrible these doctors well especially mine I call them funeral directors.Because instead to help me they trying to get me on my knees.Honestly I can't wait to go to a different hospital which specialized for cancer.The nurses in the chemo unit are more caring and know the health issues better then the oncologist.

Dear

I understand your reluctance about the hospice It’s not for everyone.I go once a week to the crafting class, I have so much fun and laughter there with my friends, if you were watching us you’d never guess we were a bunch of incurables. Its the only place I can truly relax and be myself.

 it’s like being love bombed, everything is geared towards making you happy and keeping you as well as possible.

I hope you can find somewhere nice to live if you current tenancy runs out, London is so expensive, a friend of my husband bought a flat in the Barbican about ten years ago for 1/2 million pounds and it’s tiny ! ! ! goodness’ knows what the rent would be .

my cancer nurses are my saviours, one of my favourites left for pastures new recently and I’m not ashamed to say I shed a tear and still miss her.

Hey Janet, 

I've rented since I moved out of my parents, so about 20 years now. 

You need to get in touch with your landlord or the managing agent and let them know you'd like to renew your lease. If you don't tell them you want to renew, they can assume that you are leaving. Make sure and ask for another lease too, it gives you more protection than a rolling tenancy does. 

In regards to your cash flow, there is the Macmillan bursary as others have mentioned but do you also know about ESA? It's the benefit you can get, if you're entitled to benefits, if you have to leave work due to illness. Statutory sick pay is pennies, and not enough to live on. So if you're entitled to it, you might be better moving to ESA. 

Again, if you call Macmillan and ask to speak to a benefits advisor then they'll be able to go over everything with you and possibly even help you fill out the forms too. They were invaluable to me when I was having work and financial issues. 

Lass

Xx