Struggling with everything

Hi ,

Wishing you all the best for your hospital appointment and I hope they can sort out your pain meds and whatever is going on with your hip.

I'm afraid I can't offer much advice about childcare for Calli, what I would say is that although other people can do a lot nobody, cuddles or makes a child feel safer than their mum and dad.  Whatever else you struggle with, those cuddles at the end of the day will be what Calli will enjoy most.  I used to turn up to collect my son from his nursery and liked to stand and watch him playing happily with his friends until he noticed me.  He is now 14, tall and starting to shave and is easily embarrassed, especially at being seen to be fussed over by his parents, but still he still enjoys a hug (much tooo big to get on my knee now).

love and a big hug,

Gragon xx

Hospital was ok. No change in the pain meds yet. I need to talk to my hospice nurse and they suggest oxycodone? Anyone using it ?

I've  chased the RT but unsurprisingly they hadnt put in the referral so the 'my little pony' doc has promised me she'll do it and she arranged an xray for my hip to so just waiting for tge results. 

A lot of my issues is asking for help!i I'm so independent and i hate asking for help but i need to get over that quick.

I do so enjoy enjoy reading about evrtybodies kids and grandkids. They bring such joy tk every one 

Thanks everyone xx

I just can't understand all these delays and referrals not being submitted - it's not as if this is a case of selling bread, it makes me so sad that the health system is so inefficient - who knows what the answer is but there seem to be so many stories of poor care. I really hope everything you need gets moving very soon

I too struggle with asking for help - the loss of my independence has been one of the losses from cancer that I've found most difficult to deal with. Someone said to think of it as giving the other person a gift as they want to help and if you ask for something specific, it prevents all that uncomfortable "let me know if I can do anything" conversation that makes everyone feel useless. I can't decide if that's helpful or not, I'm still at the stage of wanting to do it all myself although I'm fully aware that I can't and so struggle. I was very stubborn one day and determined to get to my local cancer hospital by myself as I've had so many lifts (having no driving licence due to brain mets). It should take 20 mins in the car. By bus, it took me 2.5 hours!! So silly! 

x

My hospice nurse also recomended Oxycodone and i find it quite good, i had tried Oramorph and Oxynorm but both of them made me itch !! The Oxycodone alows me to get on with my day relativley pain free although the doctor is still telling me they cant find any reason for my pain !!!  Lynn 2

Hello Button16 sorry to hear your Possibly having the wait &see  treat I know it's very frustrating, hope you have something done very soon we all with you.

Correction Wait&watch

Hi Button sorry to hear you are having so much pain especially when you have a little one to look after. 

I do hope the medics get their act together and help you. 

It is very important that you start letting people help not just for you but also for Calli as it will get her used to being with others if you do need to spend time away from her. If you do have friends and family that can help at regular times a routine could help you all to manage long term. 

I know it must be hard though I have 2 grand children and I was mortified when it was suggested I gave up taking them away for a few days to have an operation. Luckily it was rescheduled so I still get to take them away. This is nothing compared to what you have to deal with I know but sometimes sharing out the everyday chores and activities will mean you can enjoy your time with Calli more. 

Thinking of you and your family and hoping you can get the right meds and a good support system going that works for you all.

We would all like to think we could do it all but realistic even people without Cancer or illness need support. I think we notice it more because we try so hard to not need it. 

Hi

I know nothing about oxythingywhatsit, I’m afraid. I do know how exhausting two year olds can be, though. I was looking at some old photos the other day including the ones where my friend and I decided, in a moment of Blue Peter madness, that it would be a great idea to spread out a roll of plain white wallpaper and lay out saucers of poster paint so our two year old girls could do hand and footprint painting on a grand scale. They delightedly painted and printed their hands and feet and then decided that it would be great to paint their tummies too. And everything else. Total body printing. The clear up after that was spectacular. 

Xx

Hi Daloni

First, I hope today finds you well and happy.

Why Bolivia? Sorry, I didn't explain that part, probably because I thought everyone knew, as I did. She (Fabi) is Bolivian! Ah, now the penny has dropped with you and everyone. My fault, I assumed people knew! 

Yes, La Paz is Fabi's home city, she was given a scholarship by her government to study renewable energy and was given a choice of 3 universities, one of which was Aberdeen. My son, Christopher, was studying mathematics there also. Fabi was adamant that she wouldn't get into a relationship with anyone but when she met Christopher, ........ Fabi is a lovely girl, a little giggler. We have met her a few times.  Like father, like son lol. My wife didn't have a chance 41 years ago when we met and It will be our 40th anniversary in September!

So I hope I have explained why Bolivia! 

Take care Daloni.

Tvman xx

Hi tvman

Aha! Everything falls into place now. Thanks! 

X

Hi ALL, I've just been reading this thread and Button, I am so sorry to hear you are having pain issues as well as trouble with practical things like looking after your daughter! I think we all here understand just how you feel but maybe some of us have been fighting for slightly longer and I think the one thing you eventually realise is, we need to ask for help! Isn't it strange that everyone is willing to help others whenever they can but no one wants to ask for help. I also found it one of the hardest things to cope with and used to try to do things myself the way I used to. Then it just got to the stage I was making it harder for my husband because once I'd started something, but couldn't finish it, he then had to take over and finish whatever job I was trying to do. IF I had asked him to do it for me, he would have done it when it was convenient for him, but instead he had to finish what I had started there and then because I had got myself into a tizzy because I couldn't do it myself! It's not easy but at some point you have to just "accept" that this is the way it is now and we can't change it!

I also struggle with pain and don't sleep because of it. I have tried about everything but I think to be pain free I have to take something that zones me and then I can't function at all, so I don't take them. I am so blessed to have three beautiful grandchildren ages 7,5 & 4! Now, what good is a Gran who can't play Snakes & Ladders, or show them how to plant seeds in a pot etc, so I'm at peace with my decision to carry on without the stronger painkillers! Button, I hope you find out what's causing your hip problem. Could it be coming from your back perhaps? WB please let us know how you get on. TVMan, I'm sure when Christopher brings his bride home, you will give them a party to remember! It's great you will be able to watch the service as it happens too! I had to do that when my niece Graduated my husband and I watched via a video link and it really felt as if we were part of it! Love to you all!