Book WITH THE END IN MIND

Hi all,

have spent an afternoon down the rabbit hole of TED talks and I found this one which I felt had something important to say ( despite being very American)

https://www.ted.com/talks/lucy_kalanithi_what_makes_life_worth_living_in_the_face_of_death

Is by a young doctor whose similarly young doctor husband was faced with terminal illness and how they coped and spoke about it.

Thanks ownedbystaffies. I read the text, I will listen to it when I have a private moment.

I think it added to Kathryn's book and I am happy to read and understand as much as I can about  the end. 

Xxxxx

Hi Norberry and Everyone, I think we have to do what is right for us, so that we don't fear the inevitable. However families have a habit of burying their head in the sand by saying things like, "you have years yet" or "oh don't talk about morbib things"!

I have written out instructions for my funeral on my iPad under NOTES and under the heading "what I would like when I die"! I've chosen a wicker coffin, the music, a poem and everything. So no one has to struggle with this task. I also don't want anyone wearing black and especially black ties. I want them to celebrate the great life I have had and not be sad about my death. When they think of me, I would like them to smile, not cry!

I had long discussions with Daloni during her last 8 weeks, we talked about the book and how it helped so that we knew what to expect. All the information is good to have and helps us handle things as they turn up. However what we cannot control, even although we would like to, is other people's handling of our death. We can try to discuss things while we are able to do it but if people don't want to know, we cannot force them. All we can do is make them aware how much they would be helping us. My view is most people feel helpless, so if we have last wishes that include them, we should tell them as they have a part to play!

Does all that make sense?

These recent messages has reminded me of letter I need to writ to my husband with all the details of my online payments as he will not pay for things on the internet but by post 

I know I should be making more progress now I have started but I think I will let the dust settle. I don't regret what I have done so far but I want to forget about it for a bit.

I am lucky Ruth in that I have never paid a bill in my life and wouldn't know how to! The Norbette has always dealt with the admin, I work, she spends, or I use to work, she still spends!

I wouldn't blame anyone for putting things off but Annette is absolutely right, your loved ones will feel helpless and will feel so grateful to find that difficult questions have already been answered. Its never going to be easy but is so worthwhile.

Good luck to everyone.  Xxx

i got a folder, with all important papers in it, and all passwords for internet banking and so. Also the number to phone when i'm dead as i will donate my body. Hubby did not like that i did it all but he has no clue about bills ...i don't want him to be homeless one day cuz he did not pay mortgage .

He is one lucky husband Pet, remind him everyday. A broom handle is a good reminder!

I've transferred all bills to my husbands name and directed all the reminder emails to his account so he can get used to dealing with them, so far nothing has been cut off due to non payment!

I used to do nearly all the food shopping too, but now he does it all, it has made us better at meal planning and list making.

It feels strange reorganising how you share responsibility for stuff. 

Poor Norberry, you must be all over blue by now?? or does Mys. Norberry have no broom???

Pet, you are one amusing colonial. I am an improving husband and will be greatly missed.  Probably not by Mrs Norberry or La Norbette as SiT has named her. She now combs her hair before she reads his posts, easily impressed I think.