In limbo

Hi ,

I'm so sorry to hear that, it must be so scary.  I had the shortest nosebleed ever last week, I felt my nose was running, dabbed at it and saw it was blood, ten seconds later it had stopped.  Even that got me wondering what was going on.  In your circumstances it much be much worse and really worrying.  You are very good at making it appear that you are in control so I am not surprised that your clients did not see anything but I wish I was there to give you a hug.

Regarding going to Bute and giving up work I would not give up anything you enjoy until you absolutely have to.  Your friends might relish the opportunity to give you a hug and look after you.  Even if you do nothing but sit around and talk for the whole weekend I can imagine it being lovely although perhaps not the week end you thought it might be.  I would say to go but take your tablet and a good book, enjoy the scenery, the relaxation, a few drinks if you are able and the company of your friends.

For me I was in the lucky position that leaving wok made no financial difference so it was an easy decision.  I have not once regretted leaving work and happily occupy my time doing things I want to do.  (If you ever fancy meeting up for a coffee in York then I can be available).  You can, if you want to, explain your situation to your clients without going into all the details and see if they are happy for you to conduct your classes in a different way.  If they are not happy with this then they can leave, you don't have to.

It is often the case that the medication has the most side effects when you first start to take it so these may settle down a bit over the next few weeks.  Once you recognise the pattern you may be able to accommodate it or medicate against them.  Dizziness and nose bleeds might equally be a sign that it is working despite the often highly unreliable cancer markers.

I hope that you've managed to get some sleep since posting in the early hours.

Wishing you all the best, love and hugs,

Gragon xx

Hi Tinalay

I have nothing to add to Gragon's excellent advice but I just wanted to say 'Hi' and tell you I've copied your marvellous 

it's back to one foot in the grave and the other on a banana skin 

I intend to use it, often, do I have to pay royalties ?

As regards our conversation in York, I investigated ????? walking with ski sticks - Haven ??? or someone do a video on it 

(all these ??? means I need another cup of coffee) 

anyway - no chance - I can only amble along nowadays - so I'll stick to Pilates - it should be on the NHS

best wishes

Sue

Hi Gragon, yours were the first words I saw today, thank you for your lovely supportive message. 

It seems that dizziness and nose bleeds can be side effects of the hormone therapy, whereas the ones from the chemo hit hard straight away. I think the time and place made it seem worse than it really is. 

Much as I love my classes, and the structure and purpose they provide, sometimes, like yesterday, it's such a huge effort.....think I've reached the point that if money were no object I would call it a day. Your comment about conducting the classes in a different way was a lightbulb moment! I need to find a way to work smarter, not harder.

You're right about Bute too. I know my friends are desperate to help in some way,  it's just hard to give up any more independence. We'll have a great time, no matter what.

I would love to meet for a coffee, and can hop on a bus and meet anywhere. I feel like I've had a hug  and it really helped xx

Hi Sue, lovely to hear from you. Think that expression is a throw back from my nursing days

It’s a shame there’s no Nordic Walking near you. I taught an elderly gent with advanced respiratory disease & emphysema who couldn’t walk the length of himself he was so breathless. With the poles for propulsion & support he was able to manage short distances with less effort. I’ve just read an article ‘Nordic Walking at Maggie’s -Walking Back to Happiness’ but don’t know how to post the link, sorry!

Good to hear you’re enjoying your Pilates, you’re a great advert for it.  xx

Hi ,

I've sent you a PM.

Gragon x

Hi

What’s this with all the nosebleeds? I had one yesterday too!

I have just caught up with this chat and I am glad to hear you’re a bit cheerier, . I think Gragon has hit the nail right on the head. Do the things you enjoy, let your friends take care of you. I have a group of women friends who all enjoy walking weekends away. I still go even though I can’t manage the walking anymore. It’s just fun to be away with them 

xxx

No Bute for me I’m afraid, have been at the hospital since 8.30 for bloods, neuro check & urgent CT. Staff have been absolutely fantastic, and said although symptoms could be caused by medication they didn’t want to miss something more sinister. Can’t argue with that. Now in a recliner with a drip up, tea & biscuits waiting for the results xx

Booooooooo!

Sorry to hear you've had to cancel your trip, but hopefully the fluids, or whatever is in the drip, will help!

I'm in my recliner too, but with a pint of water and no biscuits. Lol.

Feel better!

Lass

XX

Booooooo from me too! So sorry, . Hope you get home soon 

xxx

Just home, and it’s good news re the scan, no mets and no bleed. It was a shock this morning when the dr said I was showing signs of having had a stroke. They've stopped the oral chemo, my BP is sky high, and started treatment for that. I’m seeing the Consultant on Thurs to see what’s next.

In the end the decisions about Bute and persevering with treatment were taken out of my hands, but I really appreciate all the good wishes.  On the plus side, I'd bought a pair of earrings at the hospital by 10 past 8  xx