Rubbish Day

Hi Wee Blonde

Sorry to hear this and as you say a rubbish day.

None of us know how we might fill, if and when this day may arrive, we all hope it never does.

You have a new drug to start so it's not time  to think negative you have carried on the past four years with a strong spirit and that spirit has not yet been broken your having a slight blip and why not.

You have a cruise to look forward to some thing i have always wanted but as yet never done.

Was going to when i finished treatment at Christmas but hubby got diagnosed late December so no trip for us.

You will find that spirit and will carry on like you have always done, i do not mean the spirit bottle, well on the cruise yes why not.

Enjoy your trip and you will come back ready to fight what ever it takes.

Thinking of you.

Take Care Ellie xx

"You Never Walk A Lone"

Hi Wee  Blonde, 

A trial might be the very thing, you never know. My options are the Megace I am currently on, two cycles (I think) of chemo, then possible trials. And that's it. They have my name down on their trials list. Fair enough. I asked my my mcmillan nurse for counselling, and she got me it through the local hospice. The counsellor the is great, she was a nurse, and works on the wards in the hospice. She could answer my questions, and made me feel better. I could tell she was a Christian as when I mentioned my faith, she was able to answer with quotes from scripture, which again made me feel better. It's all personal to you, if you know what I mean. She was empathetic. I can phone in any time I need her and she will make an appointment for me.

I am trying to get my head on a firm footing, if that makes sense! When we get the wobbles we need to be able to get our heads back on track. Not easy, but doable, especially taking things one day at a time. Or even one hour at a time, as my counsellor tells me.

You'll adjust, and join us living with cancer, doing our best to find some enjoyment in each day. The alternative, is, well, sitting in a corner, miserable. Stuff that. 

Lots of love 

Alison xxx 

I am so sorry to read this wee blonde

i look really well , with wig and make up to perk me up ! So most people think I am well . Immediate friends and family know differently 

i have liver mets , too many for ablation ,I feel fine but know that will change ,I try not to think of future and enjoy each day but easy to say ,difficult to do 

the alternative is to sit in a corner and feel miserable ,so while I can I am doing as much as possible 

positive thoughts to you 

never give up hope 

I am starting a new treatment in couple of weeks , can t cure it but might contain it for a while 

xxx

positive thoughts 

janet

Oh crap, . That’s really the only thing I can think of to say. Of course your eyes keep leaking. Of course you look fabulous. It’s all so surreal. 

Stay in the day if you can. If not, breathe in, breathe out, repeat. 

Lots of love my darling. 

Xxx

Oh Wee Blonde, No wonder you're feeling down. That ever present threat is suddenly very, very real. And shocking.

I hope that your treatment will keep you stable long enough for a trial to be found that will bring fresh hope. And I hope you and your husband will make lots of special memories on your cruise. Sending love and hugs xx

Hi WB, That certainly was a rubbish day but try to look forward to your cruise and not make it a week of rubbish days! We know you've got the strength and spirit as we've seen it before! A Trial drug was what helped me stick around until passed my sell by date, so at least you still have that in the background if the drug doesn't work, which of course we all hope it will and is the one that's perfect for you!

Your holiday will be a great pick-me-up so that when you return you are ready to give this drug a chance. I'm so glad you will manage to go on holiday first! By the replies here, you can see how many of us are wishing you well, so give it your best shot please!

Thank u friends. Still feeling fragile & as u can c I've woken at stupid o'clock. Eyes still leaky - this really has knocked me

One of my close chums has organised an emergency meeting of the coven - our husbands call us the witches as we're always cacklin' - really, can't a group of girls enjoy a good blether - so I know support is there 4 me. Its hubster I'm worried 4, he never discloses his true feelings & i don't think he'd speak 2 a counsellor or the like.

It's my 20 year old daughter who's my companion 4 the cruise - we have the 2 dogs & it would b 2 much 2 ask my father-in-law 2 have them both (he was always the babysitter when we just had one). And I don't like the idea of kennels.

Not looking 4ward 2 telling daughter- there's never a good time but 10 days after we return from holibobs she leaves 4 summer camp in USA again until 20th Aug. And she turns 21 a week later. Can I hang on? I really really wanted 2 get 2 nxt summer 2 c her graduate....

So if anyone has either a magic wand or a crystal ball I'd appreciate a borrow pls

Thanks for all the kind thoughts

WB xx

Hi WB

I feel for you with your daughter. Mine are 15 and 18 and we’ve talked about how much they want to know. Everything is the answer. They (we) live with such a high degree of uncertainty that it is important for them to be able to trust what I say to them. So I keep things factual. If I don’t know answers to their questions, I say so. If they spiral off into the future, I remind them of today. Our motto is hope for the best, plan for the worst. I keep planning things to look forward to. 

 I have tried not telling them stuff in the past and found it created dissonance. They sense when things are not right and we end up arguing over stupid stuff - what my younger daughter named “sparrows in the room”. 

They are good at taking it on the chin and then carrying on. So last week I had to tell them that the scan results were not great and I might be off this trial and onto another one. Not easy but now it’s out there. It makes life simpler at least. For example, yesterday I had a call from the research nurse to fix up an MRI scan. My big girl was with me. I could talk openly rather than heading off behind a closed door to have a secret chat or worse - lying to her. People close to us know when we are holding back. In the absence of the truth, they fill in details with imagination and that’s often worse. 

I won’t proffer anything on the subject of husbands other than to say I recognise what you are talking about. 

I hope this helps. 

Lots of love 

xxx

Hi WB

not great with words. Just wanted you to know thinking about you.  The magic wand may be a trial, it may be the treatment they are going to start you on next.  Something else may just pop into that bag of tricks the doctor has.  I bloody hope so.  It’s the kids isn’t it, it’s so bloody wrong. I’ve got one at first year in Uni and one in secondary.

enjoy your cruise 

All my love Angela

Hi ,

Sorry to hear your news but at least this time you have got the bad news out of the way before your cruise.  If I remember correctly you have previously been trying to keep concerns about your alien boob secret from your husband whilst on your holidays.  I tend to agree with Daloni, I tell my son (14) as much as he wants to hear.  There are things that I wish I had asked my parents but their always seemed to be plenty of time so I didn't get around to it.  When my mother died soon after being diagnosed I did not get to opportunity to do so and I regret it.  I hope not to leave my son in this situation.  As you say there will never be a good time to tell your daughter so if you tell her soon then you are not carrying the stress of having to do so for as long and you can both talk about your worries.

Then you can relax and enjoy your cruise and continue to keep us entertained on here for a long time to come.  (I would love to hear more about the coven).

Thinking of you and sending love and hugs,

Gragon x