Zero interest / excitememt to go on holiday

Hi NS9 

I had a different cancer to you, but I understand the not having any interest in things. Things I used to love doing I don't want to do anymore, I make myself do them though, in the hope that the love for them will come back in time. I have also started therapy to try and make sense of where my head is at. Ultimately you have to do what's right for you but I would say go on holiday you may enjoy. You could also ask your doctors about therapy it may help, I find it hard but think it will benefit in the longterm. Sending hugs. Xx

Thank you so much Bungle1 for sharing your experience and just for your overall empathy and support. I really appreciate it, and I'm sorry you too have found yourself not being interested in things you once loved. Well done for taking action - forcing yourself and exploring things through therapy too. I will try to follow in your footsteps. Sending hugs back! x

Hi NS9,

Can I encourage you, as per Bungle1, to seek that help.  I hate the word 'therapy' as for me it makes me think of hopelessness and endless sessions that will never help.  This is just not true!

I had prostate cancer and found myself, after the treatment, feeling lost and more hopeless than during the whole process of diagnosis and treatment.  Before I found out I had cancer, I had been so confused by my symptoms that I had begun to have mental health issues.  If I am honest, I had started to do mild self harming.  Ironically, it was this that led to my cancer diagnosis and put me on the NHS waiting list for 'therapy'.  Thank god, I reached the top of the waiting list for 'therapy' (cognitive behaviour therapy, CBT, to give it the full name) just as I hit this terrible feeling of being lost and hopeless.

The CBT treatment was instantly a better beginning to life after my initial treatment.  Exploring the emotions behind my feelings of being lost and hopeless started to part the clouds in my mind.  Over three months we dealt with so much that a year plus later I can't believe how much we covered.  My cancer has resulted in some ego busting physical changes to my body and that was buried in the hopelessness.  Again it's better that I be detailed and admit that I am totally unable to get erections by natural methods.  I think it's fair to say that this is something most men would struggle with!  I think before the 'therapy' began I hadn't even reached the point of processing this loss.  During the treatment as I removed the initial blocks of shock and mental anguish that went with my descent into cancer, this exposed the horror of my loss of identity.  As I explored this we took the decision to bring my wife of 43 years into the sessions.  With her help I was able to see that I was no less a man and that all I needed to do was adapt to the changes.  It still makes me emotional to remember those sessions.

The sessions were not endless.  As I already stated they only lasted three months and some of the tools and techniques we used have stayed with me and helped to deal with making every day as magical as possible.  Part of the 'therapy' taught me that I am so lucky to be in a place where I am still alive and can still have the most amazing and good time.  I am not cancer free as I have a high risk of spread and am having three monthly blood tests.  After each blood test I have a two week wait for results that one day may drag me back into treatment.  Most men in this same place in the cancer journey struggle with this two week wait, but I can continue to have the best time of my life as the 'therapy' has helped me to put the fear away.

Sorry this is such a long answer, but I so hope it helps you and others to see that cancer doesn't just hurt our physical bodies but it scars our minds, but there is effective treatment for both!