My husband and I have had a gruelling 10 months navigating my diagnosis and primary treatment for breast cancer. I finally finished my primary treatment and have today started my longer term maintenance treatment (CDK4 + hormone blockers) that should mean we can now slowly regain our lives. We used to love travelling, and not being able to have any holidays to go on or to look forward to, has been hard. My husband in particular, has always needed holidays to keep going and to feel well / whole.
But for the first time in my life, I have zero interest in planning a holiday and I find myself constantly coming up with excuses or postponing the decision making. Granted, I'm still tired and there's still lots of appointments and things going on, so I rarely feel I have the headspace, but it's becoming a pattern and I know it's upsetting my husband deeply. Somehow, being in my home, around my dog, baby and belongings, is making me feel safe. Leaving all that scares me.
Anyone else feel like that? And if so, did anything in particular help you? I'm trying to figure out what this say about where I'm at and what can I do about it. Do I just force myself and pretend I'm excited?? I feel really bad for my husband with everything he's been through and just how much he needs this.
