Struggling

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Hello

At 55yo I was diagnosed with early stage lung cancer NSCLC 1b on 24 Aug 24 & had a lobectomy on 1 Sept. It was an incidental finding - I was having tests for tummy issues. I went in total shock.

After the operation the doctor said I didn’t need adjuvant therapy - it took me a while to get my head round that. I thought I would need further treatment.

I had my CT scan in Jan and the result was NED. That was a relief. I had my 2nd CT scan yesterday and my anxiety has rocketed. I’m thinking about cancer all the time. Logically I know that worrying excessively is a waste of time and staying in the present is the best thing to do.  But it’s like I can’t switch off worrying.  

Im  feeling scared with low mood - I don’t think my life will ever be the same again. I wish I could just get on with my life and enjoy it without having to worry about cancer.



  • Hi again  sorry for the delay in getting back to you but I have been in the garden all day.....

    Well done you going to the music festival....... oh my days of camping at gigs are well past..... at best I would have to do glamping Grimacing

    The paper (After Treatment Finishes - Then What?) and the simple exercise is a great tool. I don't know your situation with regards to family and indeed work....... but I know many people who have given printed copies of the paper to family, friends and indeed employers as it clearly explains the post treatment journey...... most likely better then you or I can.

    You may want to have a look at a blog I did on the site a few years back - Cairns and the craggy mountain do tell me what you think.

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

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  • Hi Mike (Thehighlander)

    Thank you for your helpful suggestions.                                     

    These last few days I've been up and down ahead of my 'results appt' tomorrow 1 August.  I've worked hard on accepting uncertainty. Today I noticed a slight improvement in my mood, as I made a conscious effort to not allow myself to focus on negative thoughts and instead recalled what the surgeon said. 

    I printed off the document and your messages and reread the content again this evening. I said to my daughter I wish I had this at the time of the diagnosis as it's very helpful.   I like that you used it to become more proactive and used it as a vehicle for change and life improvement !! I am going to do the same. Rather than live the rest of my life living in fear  - which would be a very miserable existence. 

    I will read your blog cairns and the craggy mountain later and send my thoughts.

    Thank you.

    Helen

  • Hi Mike (Thehighlander)

    Just to let you know I got good news today - no recurrence NED. 

    Helen 

  • Grest news Helen, this is a wonderful platform for moving forward from……. It took me 17 years to hear those words NED (No Evident Disease) even although I am still classed as Incurable Wink

    If you are anywhere near a Maggie's Centre (in the Highlands ‘near’ could be a 3-4 hr round trip) they run a very good ‘Where Now? course….Macmillan also do a post treatment course (Local Macmillan Support in your area)

    I did the Maggie’s course a year after my last treatment and it gave me some great tools to be able to keep climbing the mountain and not constantly going around the mountain. ((Hugs))

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

    Community Champion Badge

  • It really is wonderful. I will sleep better now.


    Waiting for 17 years to hear NED and deal with the battle between the ears must have taught you to become very resilient.  That is a great asset !! 

    I visited a Maggie’s centre not long ago and spoke to a lovely lady.  I will go back. In the meantime, I will get in touch with Macmillan to register my interest in the post treatment course.

    Thank you once again for your support. (hugs) I know it will help me deal with the uncertainty a C diagnosis.

    Onwards and upwards……….

    Helen

  • Macmillan don’t do their post treatment course in the Highlands but the Maggie’s Course was amazing as is their various courses.

    It’s now your opportunity to define the way forward for yourself.

    Indeed onward and upward.

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

    Community Champion Badge

  • Hi Helen

    What excellent advice from Mike he really covers all the issues so well. I have had 3 occurrences of jaw cancer and 2 lots of radiotherapy over time and know just what you are experiencing. It is now 10 years since my first cancer (1st cancer in 2013, then 2019, then 2022) and I have found that time does help distance me from my worries. I have also found getting involved in meaningful activities really helps. I volunteer at my local library and have just started lap swimming at my local pool. I find taking control of what parts of my life that I can really gives me a feeling of purpose. I find being really involved in the moment of whatever I am doing doesn't leave room for cancer recurrence worries. Every now and then I get a hiccup when I get a mouth ulcer or something else in my mouth that I think is not normal and it does give me concern. I am still on 3 monthly checkups with my surgeon and he is always very attentive and calms my nerves and checks things out thoroughly for me.

    Wishing you all the best with your ongoing recovery.

    Lyn

    Sophie66

  • Thanks Mike. I will reach out to Maggie’s again.

  • Hi Lyn

    Thank you for reaching out and sharing with me your cancer journey. It is reassuring to hear that time has helped distance you from your worries. And that you have a very attentive surgeon that calms your nerves.  I haven’t spoken to my surgeon since being discharged from hospital in Sept last year.  But I quite often contact the specialist lung nurse. 

    It’s great that you are volunteering and doing meaningful activities.  At present I work full time so I have to be very disciplined to mark out time to look after myself (I enjoy tai chi & I do weights for a rotator cuff injury). Also, for doing things that I enjoy such as reading & dancing. I’ve just started reading The Midnight Library (Matt Haig). I also enjoy cooking from scratch and really into eating healthy since my diagnosis.  It takes time so I have to be disciplined and prioritise looking after myself otherwise work takes over my life.

    Mike gave  me invaluable advice in which I will always be very grateful for.  Blush

    Wishing you all the best with your ongoing recovery.

    Helen