Are belief systems basically just a psychological comfort blanket?

Is there any other animal that is aware of its own existence and that it will at some point die? And is it from this place of self-awareness that homo sapiens has then asked the big questions ("why are we here?" "how did it all happen?" "what happens after we die?").  From those beginnings it is easy to  to see how the various creation myths happen.  And yes, "comfort blanket" is a good term to use. 

And it is a really interesting question : "why does the universe exist?"  Apart from describing the Big Bang and going forward from there I'm not aware of any explanation of WHY there was something that could make a Big Bang.    Sometimes I could use a bit of comfort myself when contemplating all that uncertainty and happenstance.  

But when I hear the word "faith" then it gets worrying.  Apart from being faithful in the sense of maintaining integrity, the word "faith" - to me - implies abandoning logic and reason.  (many years ago, in my radical days, I remember somebody rebuking me by saying "the trouble with you is that you have no faith in the working-class" - and yup, they were right)  

So I shall hang onto my logic and reason and reject the big F of faith.  So, instead of faith, or the 3 D's in the original post, I offer the Four F's of what we are built for by evolution.  The Four F's being: fighting, fleeing, feeding and fornication. We could be happy as chimpanzees if we hadn't had got a really good brain added onto us.  The good brain made us self-aware, and self-awareness makes us ask difficult and confusing questions.  (and I'm not suggesting we should go out for a good fight etc. etc. - reminds me too much of Leeds City Centre on a Friday night)

I certainly don't want to die soon - wasn't there a greek myth about someone to whom the gods would grant any wish and who asked not to die ? As I remember it he didn't ask for the right thing; so, whilst he didn't die, he just became very old and sick and frail and in pain.  So as long as I'm here I want to do some cool stuff, see my children get on, make my contribution to society etc. etc.  But I guess there will be a point - if one is lucky enough to survive long enough - that death becomes less of a threat and more of a gentle acceptance.

I can envy those of faith and who have a collection of like-minded people to be with and feel good about things and do good things.  And if some of those people are not really wholly faithful but go to church / temple / synagogue / mosque / where-ever for complex, understandable motives, as long as it does them some good and makes them feel happy then what's the problem?

Sorry, long postcard ...

Hi Entremet,

Thanks for the post.

The problem is definitely not with what other people choose to do (I 100% have no problem with that, each to their own), it is a problem within my own head. I was using the word “faith” in the context of what an individual thinks is important, what gives them purpose, what stops them dwelling on the potential inherent pointlessness of all this. Envy is definitely a good word, that is what I feel. 

I get the point that we are animals with good brains. I would go a step further and say we are actually only like parasites, viruses, etc - a bunch of cells that have an insatiable desire to survive and will do whatever it takes to do that. But I don’t know if I was naive, miseducated or just too much of a dreamer, but I always thought there was something more - a bit like when you watch a film and it has a nice ending that fits everything neatly together.

As to the gentle acceptance, I am certainly not there. I am 40 so I don’t feel in any way ready to accept the natural facts of life. The point about being alive and sick is interesting. A few years ago, I was very sick and I definitely felt like giving up. But I really wanted to stay alive and I dragged myself back from that place. Maybe that is what is causing me this problem? Because I have stared death in the face and it was the most horrible thing ever, I have an overwhelming fear of what is to come? And I am desperately searching for a blanket that will genuinely and permanently comfort me - not just something that will trick me for a bit?

Cheers

Greg

Hi Greg

Thanks for your reply and apologies if I got the wrong end of the stick.  I'm probably not the best person to have replied to your post.  But I'll just add a few extra thoughts.

Like you I need comfort - it's just the trigger word of "faith" that gets me going (I tend to be very suspicious of faith-peddlers).  I'm  also a bit sad at the moment and not well-disposed to religious interpretations.  Dealing with my sadness is currently non-chemical (so lots of talking therapies plus general health improvements).  And because I tend not to regard myself of worthy of anything (long story) I don't get that upset at the thought of losing the big game of life - it's just at the thought of what might have been that cracks me up.. But that's all a bit specific to me and it feels that we are in quite different places as regards thoughts of death.

I'm really not sure what to offer here.  It seems a bit rubbish to say what works for me as if that is any guide at all.  But I'll say it anyway and leave it for others to decide.

What comforts me (and distresses me in equal parts) is knowing that things continue.  Things like family and friends, like some work that I've been involved with in a minor way.  It sounds ridiculous but I'm planting some trees - I don't expect to see them anything like full-grown - but trees are cool and I think we could do with more of them.  It may all sound like a game of "they'll be glad they new me" and maybe it is but there's genuine comfort for me in the thought that whatever I did will be useful in the future.  

More immediately I'm trying to have more fun. Work and responsibilities are something of a straightjacket, but I've negotiated a half-day off a week from mid-day to midnight .  So, no work, no family responsibilities, I can do whatever I like.  I'm also making the effort to get out more and meet people / do things.  We shall see how effective it is.

Good luck with finding your comfort blanket,

Steve

Hi Steve,

Thanks very much for your post. I really hope you get some positive developments from the talking therapies - they’ve helped me greatly in the past so I hope you find the same.

The trees sound like a good idea too. I guess everything is temporary and permanent at the same time- I like that.

And good for you to get some time for yourself - I think it helps our mental states so I hope it works for you.

And just the act of you replying has helped me, so thank you very much for that!

All the best

Greg

Hi Greg.

I'm a life-long atheist, although I didn't really self identify as such until 10 or 15 years ago when I started thinking about dying... depression taking hold. That was before I had cancer.

Anyway, the way I see it there's a big difference between religious belief systems and non-religious ones. The concept of sin and an afterlife are religious inventions and don't figure in my thoughts.

As for death itself, I'm happy with the concept but that doesn't mean I want it to come any time soon. That said, sometimes I do wish myself dead, that my incurable/untreatable cancer would accelerate and cause some kind of catastrophic bodily failure that would get it over with quickly.

I've had depression since before my first cancer diagnosis and suicidal thoughts were and still are a common thing for me. Having incurable cancer just adds to that, especially as, physically, things are definitely worsening, month-by-month.

I think there comes a time when we must look death in the eyes and say, hello my friend. I'll be sad to go but when I do it will be a release for me. I don't talk about this with my wife, as she simply won't engage in conversation on the subject, but I have some close friends with whom I do talk about it, and they would see my death in that way too... as a natural and welcome release from the suffering that is increasingly part of daily life for me. I'm not in excruciating pain, but the pain is there most of the time, dulled by morphine, and gradually worsening.

As you know, one of my joys in life is singing and ukulele playing. Two recent new songs I've been learning are about dying, but not in a gloomy way. "I'll Fly Away" talks about going to heaven, but I don't mind that... I like the joyful spirit of the song... looking forward to dying. The other song, "Crossing the bar", has the words of a poem by Alfred Lord Tennyson, written a few years before his death, in which he describes a very peaceful and non-religious approach to dying.

I'm not expecting to see Christmas 2019 but, who knows, maybe I'll last another year or two. I make what I can of the time that remains, finding joy in the little things that make life worth continuing.

All the best, for now.

Hi Tom / Super Healer,

Thanks for your replies. 

Tom - I thank you for your honesty about where you are at. I always enjoy listening to your posts. When I was in hospital a few years back and convinced I was on the way out, I did reach a point of acceptance - a calmness which said I couldn't do anything about it and if this is what life is, then it's not worth it anyway. But there was also intense frustration and anger - a deep desire to stick two fingers up and fight. I worry that when that inevitable time returns that I will be straight back in that mindset and it will not be pretty for me or anyone else who happens to be in the vicinity. I am actually hoping for a quick death, something I don't have time to over-analyse. I don't think I could do it myself - something tells I would be too competitive when push came to shove. But I have my moments of madness and I can see how resilience might get worn away to a point where it made sense. It all just seems a bit of a shame really.

Re: religions Super Healer,  you come up with some great ideas. I suppose any religión is about kindred spirits, shared views, (mostly) a desire to do good (I agree it can also be a force for intense evil). I did a History degree so ive always been fascinated by beautiful buildings and the stories they have to tell - there should be something for people who want to visit those places but don't want to listen to someone trying to force a world view. My MIL is religious, she came to visit and left a book called "What's the point?" I have got over the paranoia of whether she left it deliberately (my wife has struggled recently). I read it as the title of the book is the question I refer to in my original post. There were some good psychological points in the book. Some things that made sense and I can see why people take it in and how it provides comfort. But boy are there some ridiculous things and what angered me the most was the writer's deep desire to want to brain wash the reader. I suppose any writer wants to provoke a reaction in their reader, but this was sinister - and it worried and depressed me how many people would read that book and let it influence them.

Oh well, like you say Super Healer,  it is good to have the space to discuss these things and I greatly value the replies.

All the best

Greg

Hi Greg.

Would I be right in understanding that your question about death is motivated not by a fear of dying but of being dead?

To me, this is an odd concept.

The dying experience is something I will have to go through, although I might not be conscious at the time. But after that, I'm gone. It will be as it was before I was born (or before I was conceived). I did not exist before and I won't exist afterwards. Being dead presents no fear for me.

Or am I misunderstanding where you're coming from on this?

Hi Tom,

You are right, I am not afraid of the dying process, I am afraid of being dead. You’re right, it makes no sense, I have not existed for a very long time and I’m sure I won’t exist for a very long time to come (although a small part of me still clings on to the notion of immortality). I think it might be caused by egocentricity. Now that I’ve had the chance to live, I don’t want to give it up! I read somewhere that there is a philosophical argument that it is better not to have existed at all. Maybe that has some merits, but I would not give up the very many good things that I have experienced. But it seems a shame that you have to give it up. And the bit I hate the most is the clock, a bit like on Countdown. It is interesting because that clock has always been there and I remember thinking about it from a fairly young age. But distraction and denial gets you through while you live in hope that the answer will come to you. Then you think maybe the answer doesn’t matter. Then maybe the question doesn’t matter. Then you think nothing matters. Then you think what’s the point. Then you decide the “what’s the point” thought doesn’t matter and you decide to just see what happens. So, back to distraction. Then you find a purpose. Then onto denial. Then back to self-awareness and doubts creeping in again. It just seems to repeat itself in a circle. Then I think I really crave something to wrap myself up in that will permanently comfort me and get me out of the cycle. Then I think chill out Greg, what the hell are you going on about, stop living inside your own head. But my head is me isn’t it, so where else can I go?

Time for distraction me thinks!

All the best

Greg

Hi Greg, just in case you think otherwise, I'm not saying that all religious people are evil (the non-crooks true believers are mostly in denial, like you say in need of their comfort blankets).   You can never tell with the believers whether they are nice because they are *genuinely nice* or simply scared of going to Hell.  My reasoning has always been about the morality of their Gawds.  If they can't even work out that, amongst other atrocities, e.g. not stopping babies from being abused is wrong, then to me it is immoral.  The sheeple are glorifying a sadistic monster who inflicts so much suffering for his own project.  How can humanity thrive with such thinking ?!  It's unfair and immoral to mislead children that immorality is justified. 

It's perfectly fine to be spiritual without religion (just meditation).  You can pray to a Universal Higher Intelligence (without the religious nonsense) IF it gives you comfort.

Your latest reply to Tom is very interesting, albeit baffling to me.  You are not afraid of the dying process but afraid of being dead.  I'm not afraid of non-existence at all, in fact eternity terrifies me !  I'm fascinated by death, a romantic notion (I can't explain it, I'm actually looking forward to it when my time comes, not the dying process itself of course).  Even though I know I'm being irrational too, once dead why on earth would you care ???  You are only thinking about it because you are, as a deep thinker, aware of life.  Death is part of life.  A lot of people are suffering from "existential depression".  But then you already know that thinking is irrational.

I have noticed that being happy is not about what we have in life, is how we perceive life.  You already have everything you love in life, you just need to focus on that (otherwise it'd be a waste, not many people are as fortunate).  Like you say, perhaps you need distractions.  Get passionate about what you love.  If you have an interesting hobby that takes up much of your time, you wouldn't have those unpleasant thoughts.

Since they are just irrational thoughts, why not make them colourful and interesting instead?  The afterlife that you dream of.

I'd love to be able to teleport anywhere I like ...