Glioblastoma Why Why Why <br/>

Morning everyone

Just a little post to say hello to all my friends.

Life for me just the same Mum still has chest infection, antibiotics don't really seem to be helping her cough etc maybe they so used to her immune system now, her mac nurse returns from holiday today so we will just wait and see what the next step is now.

Well I have had a lovely break off work with my husband Scott even though we are up to our eyes in decorating on Friday we went out for the day to Dundee had lunch, done bit of shopping etc then on Sat the weather in Fife, Scotland was dreadful so we decided to make a start we have had new dining room chairs since Aug 08 and with how Mum has been just never had the time but I came to the conclusion that I might never have the time so Scott and I scraped all the paper off the walls on Sat night and today we are getting work done in it as I want the walls skimmed so we can just paint them - its gonna be cream and brown when its finished, those colours are so in the now that I should not struggle plus I have alot of gold things from the previous colour so they will fit in fine too, so today is just a day mucking around for us really, I am off soon to get my waxing done maybe I will look nice for once he he and then off to see my Auntie who had a knee operation last week but is now home, did no go into hospital to visit her as it brings back so much awful memories of when Mum was in there so I chickened out and I am going a home visit instead.

Rona - Hope your flight back to UK was fine, bet your happy after having a hug from your Dad, love to you and your little boy.

Gayle - Hope you enjoyed your time at the caravan, I quite like country and western music, hope the three of you are doing fine, give you a text soon.

Lesley - Has that phoned turned up yet pal, nevermind we won't loose touch as we have pc, I am getting a new pc so between that and the dining room thats my holiday for this year, how is your Dad?

Diane - A big hello if your reading at present, know its maybe hard for you and you want to just try and forget this horrible life of BT! here anytime you want to chat though.

Becca - Not sure if you are home or not but just wanted to say hi, hope you and your lovely family are trying to get by and you enjoyed your trip away.

Dianne J - Lovely the way you support Christie and in return how Christie helps Hannah, so so sad when they are both so young.

Emma - Hope work is going ok, love to you and the girls, think about you lots.

Carrie - Same to you hope you have settled back into work ok, think about you lots.

To everyone else that reads and posts I send you all the very best wishes possible.

Well folks I am off to hang the washing out then head out and leave my lovely hubby with the workmen, so glad he is off today as I don't like being left with strange men!

I am back at work tomorrow, got meetings all day then will be with Mum in the evening but hopefully I will be back on the pc at sometime thru the week to see how your all doing.

Lots of love Lorraine x

Hello everyone,

Thought I’d pop on to say hello.

Lesley - how is dad? And how are you? Is work ok? It’s been over a month that your back eh? My phones coming up for renewal you can have mine lol :) xx
Carrie - lovely to hear from you and thanks for asking after us - like I was saying to Emma tonight...its baby steps all the way. Hope you are well love xxx
LORS - You are having sometime of it - it sends chills down my spine as it was more or less everything we went through with dad, but your mum is an amazing lady and a fighter after two years there can be no doubt!!!, she has battled on...with you and pops right by her side. Thinking of you lots PM me any time you want! That goes for anyone!!! im a creature of the night too (owing to being part of the unemployed hehe) xxxxx
Gayle - How was the caravan this weekend? Hope the weather was scorching xxx
Eileen - How are you? Hope Rob is doing Ok xxxxx

Rona – are you here yet? Hope you have a safe journey, I know how much better you will feel just being able to see him and hold his hand. When do you get results? Xxx

DianneJ – Have never spoken to you before, but Hannah sounds like a truly inspirational teen. Cannot begin to imagine how difficult it is for a mother to deal with this diagnosis of her child. Just really wanted to say hi xxx

Susan – Hope our enjoying you’re roaming in the gloaming – weather was better last week, but you don’t come to Scotland for the sunshine eh? Hope you are both well xxx

To everyone else I have missed – I hope you are all well as is possible xxx

Well we got back on Saturday night to a chilly Ayrshire. The week away was a tonic and the accommodation and food first class. There was however a very apparent void. We did manage to enjoy ourselves, stealing teary moments and have a few laughs too.

However that said….I do wake up every morning and not want to get out of bed, but then jump up and get on with it…the fear of breaking down follows me everywhere and im more content in my mums company and know I cannot do it in front of her. I do wait for some fit of rage to consume me though…I know I am capable of it and I know its coming im just not able to let it out yet – not sure if that makes sense. I know it’s unhealthy and there are professionals out there able to talk to me about it, but the stubborn person that I am will not allow for that either. So I guess I will have to keep plodding along.

Dad’s obituary made a few local news papers in our area and I’ll share one with you if you don’t mind.

Have said before that dad wasn’t one for fanfare or show, but it helps in a way that people thought so highly of him – I cant help but be so very proud of him and want to show him off…it kind of keeps him around for a while – again not sure if I am making much sense (hmmm may be the four or more vodka tonics ive had :O) )

http://www.maybole.org/community/citizens/profiles/williamboyce.htm

Good night everyone

xx

Becca - your dad sounds a great man. Thankyou for sharing that with us.

Emma - what a strong post you wrote. You have inspired me again to make the most of whatever time we have left. And yes we are "fortunate" that we have time to do everything, make sure we've said everything etc etc. It's just such a shame that it's also quite hideous for quite a long time also. I'm sure there must be a dissertation topic in there somewhere - quick and painless, but much harder afterwards. Or slow and horrible but better afterwards.??!!

My mum is now feeling a fair bit better and has resurrected her talk of going away and taking me and the girls with her. We talked about Oct half term but of course everywhere is booked up - that she wants to go to. So she's now talking about Feb half term. But I just suspect that by then she'll have started deteriorating by then - that will be 13 months after diagnosis and almsot exactly 12 months afer debaulk. She says she doesn't see any reason why she shouldn't still be well enough (which I think has confirmed for me that she is in denial about what she actually has, or really didn't take in what she was told). I have said that I'll take the girls out of school between Sept and Christmas but she doesn't want me to do that ( we did have 6 weeks in Mexico at the start of the year). I just don't know what to do. Let her go ahead and book Feb, but risk missing out on the time away with her. Or push for earlier and posibly tell her the truth about why I want to make it earlier.

What would you all do?