hi susan and amanda, been having problems posting on the other post so thought i would carry on here and see if it works!! how has your weekend been? susan do things feel a little easier for you this year or not really? i feel so sorry for you having all those people around you last year when i bet all you wanted to do was run didnt you? its awful with christmas coming isnt it i even go shopping online as to not have to go shopping with all the xmas things about. i feel so selfish and bitter at the moment and dont want to, i can hear my mum saying come on karen dont be like that but its hard isnt it. i feel so lonely tonight i just want to talk and have a cuddle and a kiss with my mum, sometimes it really hits even harder doesnt it? speak to you both soon, and hope you are bearing up. we all need each other dont we? my love and thoughts are with you love karen xxxxx
good to hear from you, hope your feeling a bit brighter, it is so hard though isnt it?
i know these terrible thoughts are awful arent they liz?
about your palpitations is it panic attacks liz? if it is they are terrible i have suffered with them for years, and have got bad again just lately, i sympathise with you.
it must be so hard for you at the church keep having to tell people whats happened, its awful isnt it?
i bet you are very tired with work etc., and also grief takes it out of you and exhausts you doesnt it?
try and take things a bit easier liz and look after yourself.
i'm sorry your feeling so low too, no wonder with all thats going on, i remember my mums bloods being down and not being able to have chemo its so stressful the whole thing isnt it?
i hope her bloods improve and then she can have her chemo.
you take good care of yourself sharon.
love and hugs to you and your mum, and thanks so much for your support. karen xxx
Good to see you and it sounds as if you've been busy cleaning and tidying ready for the handover - fingers crossed it will all go smoothly. Any news on the job front for your husband- I imagine he's feeling a bit cheesed off with it all now!!
Yes Karen is it very early days and I agree that having lost both parents is really hard to accept - it's still now such a horrible feeling and one that you would not want anyone to have to cope with. As I have said for me the only positive thing I hang on to is that they are together just as they would want to be and although for me from a selfish perspective I would rather still have one here with me, I know that was not the case for my mum.
Your boys will always think you're the best mum there could be Karen, not matter what that little voice in your head is telling you. You just cannot be so hard on yourself, it's not fair. One of the worst things has happened to you and your reactions are quite normal so please don't keep feeling bad about yourself, everyone wil know you are doing the best you can and really nothing is going to change quickly. Your boys love you very much and will just want you to be ok so stop worrying about them and look after yourself.
As for WW, I agree no need to worry too much about that, you need to manage these every day hurdles without taking too many other things on and you have done so well so far.
Sounds as if Rocky is growing nicely now, did you see one of our kittens died so we only have a ginger tabby left now with Bella. To be honest Karen, he's a bit of a thug, already trying to push Bella around (and anyone else) and he's only just 2 weeks old. We're thinking of calling him Finn, don't ask why??? but it does seem to suit him.
I hope you get on ok tomorrow with your GP, are you able to talk to him? Perhaps you can let us know how you feel once you have been?
Need to go get Jonathan now from hockey to deliver him to football training! I will be back later
How are you? It's suddenly all a little quiet north of the border. Are you ok? I hope you'll be able to pop in later so we can have a chat. I'm thinking (and worrying) about you.
Hope you're feeling ok? How is your back now? I understand you have a very special evening planned so I don't want to delay you but wanted to say I hope we can catch up tomorrow and you sound a little brighter - are you?
Have a loevely evening and wish your husband Happy Birthday and I hope he enjoys his fishing pressies!
Good to see you, sounds as if you're having a difficult time at the moment. I do hope that in time you can start to feel a little brighter. I quite agree that no matter how dark these days seem, it's not yet time for you to be with your mum - it really is not the answer. You still have so much living to do and your mum would want you to continue influencing other people's lives in the positive way that you do. I think that we are all at different points of the 5 stages of grief and for you and Karen it really is such early days. The most frustrating thing is you cannot really rush through these feelings of grief, to be able to accept life now as it is, takes a lot of time and readjustment and so much healing.
I am sure the palpations are a direct result of how you are feeling and these physical signs are again all part of the process, I know that Jayne will be interested in the lighbulbs and as for the instructor, I'm not sure that's a good way to learn to drive!.
You need to look after yourself Liz, I have been there, keeping so busy that then there is no time to think or face up to what has happened. But sooner or later, your body will be telling you to slow down and perhaps these are the signs you are experiencing. Perhaps you can take a step back and think about what you would be saying to a friend is she was in your shoes - look after yourself Liz and try to acknowledge that you need to give yourself some space to start healing- it can get better and it will - if you give yoruself a chance.
Just wanted to say hello while I’m home for a bite to eat. I’ve really wanted to talk to you all but have been really struggling again and feel more and more foolish the longer this goes on.
I hope you’re all OK. Take care and I'll be in touch.
I hope you and hubby had a special evening and that hubby enjyed his meal and presents. I hope you are having a good day today and that your back is behaving. I still can't seem to come out of this low patch I've hit its awful. I just don't know what to do sometimes. I should be going to see mum tomorrow but I just can't be doing with my dads attitude and lack of support I get from him. So I have decided to give it a miss seeing mum which I really don't want to do but I just can't cope with him. He doesn't seem bothered that mums chemo is cancelled. I don't think he cares about either of us. Anyway I'm rambling so I'll stop I don't want to depress everyone it is just so hard you take care love Sharon xxx
How are you are you feeling any better. Did you see the doctor if so I hope he was able to give you some help. I have been thinking of you and hoping things are a bit better for you. It is so hard isn't it. You take care of yourself lots of love Sharon xxx
