Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
Thank you for the welcome back that was very kind of you and it's really good to be back again!!
I hope you are having a good day today and good luck with Caz's scan, i hope all goes well for her
Hope did she get on at the audition? I hope all went well and that she at least enjoyed the experience.
It's been snowing here since 6am and still is at the mo.Think i will need a shovel soon to get out the house!!
Mind my beagle Essien loved it he's only 13 months old and it was so funny watching him in the first snow he has seen!! He kept jumping up trying to catch the snowflakes, i think he thought they were new toys!! Mind he got a bit cold bless him and is now snuggled up on his bed in front of the fire.
Well i hope you are having a nice day today and that you are all well?
Hope to hear from you very soon love and hugs mother hen mel xxxx
Think Daley and Ryan would get on well together by the sound of it, so if you ever want to get rid of him for a while just post him over ok? lol Bet he'd love being here too with the hip hop and the xbox 360 with footy on the telly all at the same time it's a boys dream come true so sure he would love it!
IN NO WAY AT ALL WOULD I PUT ESSIE DOODLES IN A MAN UTD COAT, THATS SOMETHING THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN!!! LOL
Saw the match against Middlesborough good match but shame Middlesborough never won it as i thought they where the better team and deserved to win!! (just me getting a dig in) lol
Thank Will for the info on his hernia it has put my mind at rest a bit as have been a bit worried as people been telling me you have to have an operation for a bad hiatus hernia and iv'e been worried sick thinking how am i going to look after daz and be in hospital at the same time!! so that has really took a hugh worry off my mind if can be treated with meds instead. I haven't eaten today as still feel sick and worried i will be again so just been sipping water. It's just the horrible feeling of having something stuck in your throat that i hate, like there's a lump stuck in your throat or something and you just can't get rid of it. Was Will like that? sorry to go on just have been worried about it is all.
You're welcome to call me the old bird cos i didn't much like the sound of being an old dog either!!! lol What would that do for my reputation, let alone my honour!!! lol
So it's Barbados for you is it? well have to see what i can sort out i'll go to the travel agents tomorrow to see whats available! lol you can leave the boys with us if you like then just be you and Will be like second honeymoon!! lol
I think i will probably have to fight Mick for the booze too mind you Kate might be up for a fight for it as well so i may have to conceed and let them share it!!!!! lol
well i will love you and leave you know as they say, but i hope you have a nice rest of the day love and hugs mother hen mel xxxx
We had a good fall of snow and the dog went nuts. He stormed around the garden like a headless chicken with an exocet missile up his bum! He was OK on the grass but when he jumped up onto the decking he was like a pig on lard ! He stopped out for ages and was rolling about in it.
Mind you when he came in and had dried off, he lay in front of the fire until he was singeing ! He wouldn't move even though I could smell him burning, so I had to switch the fire off !
Man's best friend eh ?
Thanks for letting me join the 'team' ......I said join the 'team'.................
How are you honey? feeling better I hope! Sorry for sounding ignorant in not knowing you had 3 boys (bloody hell!! lol) and Wills your hubby, trouble is with me when I read things I tend to scan....Isaid TEND TO SCAN but I will take more notice in future ;0)
Well Michaela wasn't too bad last night and her temperature finally went down, Dr Florna came back up this morning to confirm that she does have Hodgkins Lymphoma and they are going to transfer her to Mt Vernon in the next few days to begin treatment but because she has been so poorly they are going to keep her in as an in-patient for up to 3weeks then thereafter she will return as an out-patient for 2 days at a time 2 weeks apart...life really sucks sometimes dont it?? My neighbour works in Boots and when heard about Michaela she came round to see me on Saturday (crying more than I have!!) she said she'd sort out a goody bag for her, well goody bag arrived today when I got home!! Make-up perfume, lotions, creams, mosturisers, jewellery box etc etc so when I go back this afternoon Michaela will revel in what she's got and what she doesnt use I will!! lol though there is a tub of anti-wrinkle serum (phaps thats for me)!!?
Did you get snow again last night/this morning? woke up at 6 and was blanketed but now its all gone, made me think and miss mollie and maddie as mollie loved the snow, maddie was more of a sunshine girl (old tart that she was!!)
Have you any more training sorted out for this week or are still feeling under the weather (where does that expression come from?!!) bit like being on the buses and having them strange thoughts the other day!! think I really do need some kind of help, is Kate's straight jacket still available or is she still in it (and that would be just for supporting Liverpool!!) ha ha, sorry Kate.
Loving and leaving you as going back up to see Michaela (I was sent home as its dinner time - thats a 1st) usually they've been quite lenient but different 'lapse' staff on again today.
sending you lots of love and hugs honey (french firemen urgh!! french are slimey aint they?) sorry to anyone french on here but think we should start going for the choccy westlifers!!! Mmm don't know what Mick would think!!
Speak soon, love always Teresa XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
