AM I THE ONLY CARER WHO NEVER SLEEPS!!!!!

FormerMember
FormerMember
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Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember
    hi helen, hope everything ok with you and family

    love and hugs karen xxxx
  • Thanks, Karen, not too bad, she has a scan next week and appointment 2 weeks later, we'll see what transpires then.... Hope you are well?

    Moomy

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember
    hi helen, i'm ok thanks for asking hun, i will be thinking about you both for the scan and the app, hope you have a good day today, all the snow has gone here now, so cant go snowball fighting lol
    sending love and hugs, and special hugs to caz
    karen xxxxxx
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember









    Welcome back
    Custom Smiley Dearest Mel, so pleased that you're back!! We've needed you as Foghorne Leghorne has been leading your little chickies astray we're into french firemen now!! he hasn't really he's been a breath of fresh air and think it's us thats leading him astray, though his taste in music leaves a lot to be desired, I cant understand what he has against Westlife!! lol ;0)

    Anyway how are you feeling? and how is Daryll, Daley and Kirsty? I hope your enjoying a restful and nice weekend, just make sure that you take things easy and look after yourself ok?! Well Michaela is still the same I now just want her transferred so her treatment can start as the night sweats/temperature/shivers are getting worse, she had another one this morning and these are obviously all related symptoms to what she has and no amount of AB's or painkillers are going to help her in the long run, they just help her a bit for a few hours and then they start up again bless her!! Ive left her to sleep for an hour or so as she is really tired plus her other nan and auntie are going up this afternoon, her other nan (her dads mum) is completely devastated (as we all are obviously) when Michaela was born she didnt have much to do with her as me and her dad had split up then we got back together after 18months and as Michaela has grown up she has realised what she missed out on and what a cow she was!! and out of her 7 grandchildren Michaela is now her favourite and her step-nan (on her dads side) out of 13!! grandchildren Michaela is also their favourite (its a really long story)!! I so diversified there, Michaela is always telling me off for doing that. Me and mum think that the anger stage has hit Michaela already as she is very very snappy and moody the same as dad was when it hit him what was wrong but I told her last night that she can snap all she wants as things are going to get a lot worse and Im never going to shout back at her ever again, Mum said to her if you want to scream, shout, rave or even swear we don't mind just as long as she don't take the P!! lol Kicked arse again last night as the Dr came in without mask or gloves and even her Dad and step-mum didnt (makes them feel claustrophobic) I'll make them feel more than that if they carry on breaking the rules!!!!!!!!!!!

    Anyway dear mother hen mel, Im so pleased you are back but please look after yourself before any of us ok?! Karen makes a good surrogate but dont tell her that as I think her head may swell even more ha ha!! Sending you all lots and lots of love and hugs Teresa XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember
    Dearest chickie Karen (bobey!!) have no idea where that came from with Kate or even what it means but think it will stick now!!

    How are you? and Will and Ryan? forgive me for sounding ignorant do you just have the 2 boys? Hows that sinus infection of your's, hope getting better as you've had it for a while now!! I rang Michaela's work yesterday she's only been there a few months, she used to work in Bay Trading) and they are so kindly going to pay her SSP only for 4 scheduled hours per week as they really value her being there so at least her job is going to be kept open to her though they will replace her temporarily then had to ring her driving instructor as she'd re-booked her test for 9th May so he's going to sort all that out (refund wise and everything) then tomorrow I have to ring the college and Uni to accept her place but defer it for a year. I so cant believe that this is all happening so soon after Dad but from somewhere its certainly made me a stronger person as I'd lost a lot of strength after Dad (which I kept inside)!! You know I said to you how I felt when I woke up and Mum and Dad's and felt I just had to get up and go?? strange thing was yesterday morning I didn't feel any of that at all I even stayed for breakfast before going back up the hospital - strange me thinks!!

    Anyway, as per norm Ive gone on again!! hope you having a nice weekend and hopefully we'll speak later if you not being a bobey!! lol
    Sending you loads and more love and hugs honey T XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember
    Dearest chickie Kate

    How you doing babe? Are you sound o after a late/ night/morning last night or are you still wallowing over the footy result ha ha!! sorry have to keep getting the digs in, where are in the league??!!

    Hope you are ok and how is our duracell bunny doing today and your Dad too? Hope your dad has stopped feeding the dog chicken rogan josh, almost typed jogan rosh!! really think I need help, had a migraine this morning so feel out of sorts but Ive made a pledge that no more moaning about aches and pains as nothing compared to all on here and what with Michaela. Going up to see her again at 5, she wants chicken fajitas for tea but for some reason not mine her nan's, makes mum feel really useful. I am going to send Mum some flowers at work next week as she been through so much so soon and she being there for me!!

    Anyway honey, sending lots and lots of love and hugs to all of you (think we should leave the french firemen till after the watershed!!)
    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Dear Mick

    How are you today? And what you listening to? You are a godsend on here but we glad our mother hen back as she will groom you with regards to the music scene!! lol mind you she's a rock chick so phaps she wont ;0) Karen would agree with me, give Westlife a try!!

    Hope you are having a nice weekend, will be back later....................I said I'll be back later!!

    Love and hugs Teresa XXXXX

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember
    Dear moomy

    Thankyou for your message, hope you are having a nice weekend and I hope all goes well with Caz's appointment and she is also feeling well? Think things with Michaela are now starting to kick in as she very snappy, she can snap as much as she likes I just want the treatment started now and for her to start feeling better.

    Thinking of you all, love and hugs Teresa XXXX
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember
    Hi to all on this site I am posting a request on behalf of Donna, she has been very badly hurt by a member of her family and is in need of some support herself. I am sure many of you know her from the messages and support she freely gives to others, I believe she would appreciate a moment of your time, especially as she knows just how difficult life is for all of us. With this in mind I have strated a thread in 'Chat' where people can post their supportive comments so that when her pain has subsided and she is ready these will be waiting for her.

    lol


  • FormerMember
    FormerMember
    hi juls

    have posted to our friend donna, thanks for starting the new thread, it will be much appreciate by all of us who are donnas friends.

    lots o love karen xxx