Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
Dear MHM I'll do some more just for you, seeing as you haven't eaten today!! and I'll send over some pickled onions to go with your gherkins, how are Kirsty and Daley by the way (sorry I didn't ask that before and should have done) love and hugs your MUS/chickie T xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Dear Juls I just saw your post to Rose about the bank robbing lol!! what an idea, Michaela could help as no fingerprints but she couldn't run away, she'd need a push!! xxxx
dear chickie Teresa thanks for the second round of chippies babe feel all full up now! lol Kirsty and Daley have been really upset today as you can imagine. Daley keeps asking me if they have made a mistake and iv'e had to assure him that they haven't but we will be doing all we can to keep Daz here as long as possible. He also asked me how we are gonna cope when dad (daz) not here anymore? I couldn't answer that as have no idea my self yet! Kirsty has been very quiet tonight and said she just don't wanna talk about it but she knows i'm here when she's ready. She has also decided to tell Dan not to come down to stay with us on the 29th June as she said too much is going on here at the momnet. That must have been so hard for her as i know how much she was looking forward to Dan moving in with us and finding a place together. Iv'e told them we have to be strong for Daz now as he is gonna need us to be strong to help him get through the next few weeks love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Juls How are we splitting this money? I'll go with you on Michaela being on your horse but I'm not going as knowing my luck I'll either fall over or get caught lol xxxx
Dear MHM Bless you all, my heart goes out to all of you and I mean that ok?? I was the same as Kirsty as in when things didn't go the way we were expecting with Dad, I didn't want to talk to anybody about it but in time I did and with Daley (bless him) asking if they have made a mistake my mum was exactly the same, I know Kirsty has got the best Mum in the world but if she ever want's a chat from a daughter's point of view etc then tell her to give me a text or a ring and I'll be there, all my love and hugs Teresa xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
