Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
How are you honey? hope better after last night's worry and that duracell bunny is picking up and that your Dad is feeling ok too?
Michaela was transferred today but are transferring again tomorrow to UCHL as she really quite poorly and Mt Vernon were surprised that she'd been sent there in the 1st place, at least at UCHL she'll be with youngsters her own age though will still be in isolation. Got a tough few months ahead of us but we'll get through it, my mum gave us both cards the other day that she wanted us to open when it was just us 2 alone together, what she had written made us have a weep, just saying how proud she was of us and that she's with use all the way and that the bright star in the sky will be looking after us as well (Dad, and the spookiest thing is I dreamt of him tonight....long story, save it for another time as too long but from what I have heard some people say and what he said made it seem real) then the bloody phone rang waking me up, it was the hospital telling me they were transferring Michaela later on!!!
Anyway babe hope you're getting lots of rest and that all ok, sending lots of love and hugs to all of you, love always Teresa XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Moomy, how did Caz's scan go and hope all goes well with the results, please let me know. Well as you can see they have transferred Michaela but are now sening her to UCHL tomorrow after her pet scan, not sure as to what they'll treat her with yet but they did mention ChIVPP?? and then a course of radiotherapy as she really is quite poorly, did Caz have her treatment at UCHL? Hope the concert in London goes well, are you going? and sorry to hear about your anklie, make sure you rest it.
Juls, how are you and Richard? hope his treatment goes well tomorrow, will be thinking of you both and I hope your grandson is feeling better too? let me know how Richard gets on.
Speak to you both soon, love and hugs to all Teresa XXXXXXX
Hope you are feeling well today? Did you get a bit of a ticking off from Mother hen mel for leading us all astray ha ha!! phaps it was more so for the taste in music or the 'blues' that you support.............feel a slap coming on....sorry!!
I hope you don't stop posting as you're another breath of fresh air and like the others have said whether patient or carer it makes no difference, this thread is for all to support each other and to lift each other up and sometimes we even have a laugh!!! lol
Thinking of you honey, sending love and hugs Teresa XXXXXXX
been checking for your message all night before i can sleep, have been thinking about you all day hunni, so pleased our michaela has been moved, and also moving again tomoz, at least she will be with other people her own age, and at least she will be in the best place for her treatments and care, how is she feeling in herself? hope she still in good spirits bless her. stage lv, is this a low stage? she will get through this b-----d disease, and she will have you by her side 24/7, and your dad will be there holding her hand throughout everything, and all of us here holding her other hand. i should imagine with everything and goin to mt vernon has been an especially emotional day for you all, my love and thoughts are with you all. i know you wont be able to post as much hunni for obvious reasons, can i p/m my mobile phone number to you and vice versa so we can keep in touch by text, only if this is ok with you babe. you mentioned a dream about your dad, i think he was letting you know he is still right beside you all and watching over his granddaughter.
our mama hen mel is throwing up the footy digs, she is so naughty eh???? lol we can share lampard and becks covered in choccy eh???? lol hope you get a good sleep babe, sending you and michaela great big hugs, and your always in my thoughts love ya babe karen xxxxxxx
What a week you have had already! when does Michaela move to london hospital? Hope it's soon or am i a bit divvy and she is already there????? I don't know where i am half the time now days must be my age or something! lol
I really do hope that all goes well and sincerly hope that it hasn't spread to her liver already as you both have enough to deal with as it is! Is it common for Lymphoma to spread to the liver so quickly do you know? I'm not very knowledgeable about other types of cancer babe so sorry bout that. It's my divvy head again lol
I know my little surrogate niece will be ok i just have this feeling not sure why but it's there anyway! Maybe mumma hen is psychic or something??? lol
You look after yourself too and do keep me updated when you can as to how my little poppet(Michaela) gets on won't you? I totally understand if you have to be away for a while so no worries there you know we'll all still be here waiting for you and giving you lots of love and hugs everyday that you're away so you know we're all behind you and my little poppet!
I think what we should all do if poss, is at 10pm every night look out at the moon, then we all know we're together what does everyone else think? At least then we know we're all looking at the same time and can send good vibes and much love to each other! I'm gonna start doing that from tomorrow evening and i hope as many chickies as possible can join in all for you and the little poppet!!!
So don't forget chickies 10pm every night get looking at the moon and think of little Michaela and Teresa to give them strenght and much love!!! I really hope you think it's a good idea?
Don't forget babes if things get too much at the hospital in london you can always ring me for a chat as only live in Kent and if you like if you don't have much money if you ring me and tell me the number you're calling from i will call you back so not so expensive for you.
I'm always here for you so please never forget that! I know iv'e said it a million times already but i really do mean it i promise.
I will let you know how Darryl gets on tom and the results of my tests but you just worry bout yourself and poppet at the mo ok?
Love you more than you would ever know lots of love and big hugs mother hen mel xxxx
Glad you liked the idea! hope the other chickies and rooster mick of course are all in agreement too so were all be thinking of the little poppet and each other at the same time?????
I can be a bit silly some times but my hearts in the right place! well i hope it is anyway! lol
I just wanted us to all feel close by to each other is all so thought that may have helped!
