Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
so good to see you, what a horrible week youv'e had sweetie, how very scarey for you all with your darryl, so pleased he is starting to feel better now, and so glad the movecol is working for him bless him. i understand you feeling scared and as you said anything that happens and you automatically think the worse dont you? thank god it wasnt anything major, and he is on the mend, and thankfully he has you looking after him.
so glad you went for your tests yesterday, and all the best for next tuesday, and i'm sure everything will be fine and be able to be sorted with pills, but i will be thinking about you when you go hunni. how are you feeling now? bit better i hope.
another busy day for you tomoz, hope everything goes well, will be thinking of you both.
oh i bet you miss your kirsty already dont you? it is so emotional when they go away isnt it? i know i cry whenever the boys go away on holiday etc., and you miss them terribly eh? bless them. i know we as mums have to let them go and live there lives, but i am dreading any of mine leaving home esp if they move away, so i really feel for you when kirsty leaves to start her new life on the 18th of may. your'e def not a silly moo, you love and miss your baby.
now the footy, well think i had better stay off that subject eh? ........................lol..............hee...........hee apart from david becks covered in choccy, a girl can dream eh?...............lol
anyway my sweet, good luck for tomoz, will be thinking about you and darryl sending tons of love and hugs your chickie karen xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hows the parachutes........................... i said the parachutes x
anyway mate, thanks for taking the time to share your situation with us, so sorry your poor hubby and you are going through all of this, and sorry you too have lost your dear mum. all the best for the rest of richards treatment and hope the side effects have lessened for him now bless him, and all the best for richards appt, even though its a while off yet.
thinking of you and the family, and hope your grandson is better today bless him x
hope your ok today, glad caz had her scan and all the best for the 21st when she sees the prof bless her.
your poor ankle, its easy for docs to say rest and keep it elevated isnt it? hows anything gonna get done? but hope you can rest as much as poss and hope it soon gets better. hope caz's audition goes well friday, will keep everything crossed for her.
hope you are relaxing, and resting that poor ankle, sending lots of love and hugs karen xxxxx
Hi Karen As mick has me smalls' ...................... I said me small's I 'ave me spare pair ..........................................no 'ot air ballooning as the balloon me spare pair............ I said me spare pair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for the kind words Karen, I have also noted that you too have posted on adult orphans thread as I did!
Dear kate,karen,teresa,mother hen mel,mick,and anyone i forgot about,hopefully not
i wrote a long message yesterday to all you loving supportive caring people,the message never sent i am rewriting message now but not feeling to well at the moment and quite slow on computers so please forgive if this message looks like notes as can not manage to write it all but will try to explain in less words the same. here goes i feel i been on this thread when maybe i shouldnt have as im not a carer but a patient who has had breast cancer nearly finished treatment had mascetomy awaiting a reconstruction for both breasts on 11th june now just having herceptin and tablets which makes me unwell some times, i worried about the op and the pain after and scared if i wake while having the op and can not let them know, i know i should be greatful that i am not terminal but i am depressed and emotional, feel like a monster with no boob and such short hair (now growing back) my gp signed me off sick again and said i will not be able to go to work for a good few months,although my manager accepts im off work again and has been really good he at present understands the physical affects but not the emotional impact all this still having on me,my husband and children are lovely,also my friends and breast care nurses,but im still unhappy and have now been referred back to the psychologist at the cancer centre,i also attend a day hospice once weekly
you alll do a wounderfull thing caring for your loved ones,i feel i have not supported you all as you have me and i do realise how difficult things are for you and dont want to make things more miserable by having to listen to me,you are all so strong and i am not which makes me feel ashamed so what im trying to say is i feel it best to stay off this thread until hopefully i wil be able to support you back even though this thread not for patients. i wil stil look in to see how you all doing
take care everyone and love to you all and heartfull thankyou for all my lovely messages lots of love kim X X X X X X X X X X X X XX X X X lots of love to michaela and all who love her XXXXXXXX
That's what we're here for. we've all been where you are, carers and patients alike. having a good old moan is all part of the process. I'm a survivor and felt bad about being here, just like you do, and we are the people that carers want to hear from.
I understand how you feel, so keep in touch and contribute when you want.
Thinking of ya BLUENOSE and .................. KRO and SOTV ..........\;0)...
So good to hear from you, and thanks for the concern over Darryl. You are right you do tend to think the worst when your loved ones have this awful disease, but we're both so relieved it was nothing serious and Darryl is much better now thank you.
I don't really feel any better but won't go on about it as it gets so boring and it's like a small thing compared to what other people go through, and are still going through now, but i'll let you know how i get on next week regarding the results.
I do miss my baby Kirsty so much! she phoned me this evening to say she was ok and that 'yes mum i have been eating' cos i worry as she's a tiny little thing! lol She said she hasn't done anything today just watched DVD'S with Dan all day as she was tired from all the travelling up there yesterday, bless her. She said Dan is at work tomorrow(he's a health care assistant in a nursing home) so she is going to have another day watching tv and dvd's!!! Lazy moo!! must take after her dad cos she don't take after me! lol. I forgot to say as well on monday as well as taking daz to hospital had to take Kirsty to the drs to have her contraceptive implant removed and a new one in as the old one had been in 3 years and had run out. Well the poor little mite is so tiny and got hardly any fat on her arm that the old implant had gone into her muscle and 45 mins after trying to remove it and two open wounds later the dr decided it was best to just leave that one in and put a new one in further down her arm! Kirsty was so good and ended up with 5 stitches in two cuts on her upper arm poor little mite then i embarressed her by saying in the consulting room that she was always stingy about letting things go once she had them as a bedroom full of teddies will prove!!! She laughed and so did the dr and nurse but i think i embarressed her a bit! lol me and my mouth eh? never could keep it shut for 2 mins lol
I'm glad you're all well and hope you have a nice day tomorrow, i will let you know how Darryl gets on with the onco tom.
youv'e had and are having a lot to deal with hunni, losing your mum and dad, then this evil disease with your hubby, my heart goes out to you.
lol.........balloon, i reckon micks using our knickers for tents and parachutes....................i said tents and parachutes...............lol hee hee good job we got spares eh?
..........as for the rest of you chicks....................Mother Hen has told me to gerra-grip !!!!!!
so how'd ya doodle doo....I said how'd ya doodle doo..........?
Juls..........SMALLS ...................SMALLS ......................Rented 'em out to the boy scouts for summer camp. Replaces their 18 sleeper bell tent.
