Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
Hurrah! so glad you went to the dr's its about time you took your family's and all your chickies' advice! Hope you, Daryll, Daley and Kirsty are ok and I think the week away at your friends will do you both the world of good, phaps while you're away I will have to email Kirsty and to get her to change essien's name..rooney phaps lol!! sorry about the digs. So Kirsty is still interested in starting up another band, does she sing? When James had his band (and they were really good) Angie used to think that she could sing, still does now and its so annoying, she can certainly sing better than me but a bit OTT!! James band had a promo cd done and a review in a magazine but within the last few years with Mia being born and their drummer Ant (who was great as well) having children and getting married they havent the time, they used to get a lot of gigs in the local pubs in the town centre but nowadays you dont get that kind of thing down here anymore.
Well while with Michaela this eve her temp soared to 41.3 the highest it has ever been dr had given her paracetomol only 10mins before so advised her to take a cold shower but she didnt want to as she didnt want it to give her a chill so I just sat with cold compresses on her forehead and it eventually came down, her blood cells are now at 8.5 which is why they havent done the transfusion as they want to see if they go up or down!! and as for the vision thing he hadnt been made aware of it and said that he didnt want to tell me what that could or couldnt be as she hadnt mentioned it this morning, surely the nursing staff should have made a note of it??
When they weighed her on saturday, which I wasnt aware of she was 8.5 stone, she said today that when she was weighed she was 9.5 stone, how can you put a stone on in 2 days she then said phaps they got it the wrong way round which would have been more worrying to lose a stone in 2days so I asked the staff nurse and turned out he was the 1 that had weighed her and made a mistake!! she was 8.5 now 8.81, I said if she'd put a stone one in 2 days then Im joining her in bed because I could do with a bit more weight.
Anyway dear mother hen mel, dont know if anyone about tonight? You're no doubt getting well-earned rest, seems I cant settle when Im at home, am ok when with mum, think it cos I know Michaela not upstairs but where she is hopefully not for much longer!!
Lots of love and hugs to all of you as always, Teresa XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
discovered the post on chat for night owls - fab to go on and just chin wag, cept my computer went off on low battery! (laptop) i'll make sure i'm charged up next time!!! strange how you only discover more parts of this site the longer you're around. How long did it take for others to explore!!!! Quartz xx p.s hugs out to everyone
Haven't been here to see you all for a bit, have seen I have a few queries to answer!
thank you all, we had a good time together when we were together! daughter really enjoyed her party, she went home on Sunday after her rehearsal in Birmigham, still has to fix a date for her official audition! She is about to do some extra work in London for the LSO, she'll use us as a B&B again then, haha.
Teresa, you really are going through the mill, hope so much you and Michaela are getting some rest and today's news is a bit better.
Mother Hen Mel, am so glad you went to the Doc, you really must take extra care of yourself!
Hope all is well with you and your family and glad you enjoyed your weekend, has Caz done work with the LSO before? you must be so proud. Thankyou for your kind thoughts, no more news may have to wait till friday, it cant come sooner for me as worried out of my mind and have prepared for the worst as dont want to see the specialist full of optimism to then be given a blow like last week,
hope you are ok, and how is our michaela doing today? hope she is still in good spirits bless her.
have you spoken to any docs today or had any results back yet hunni?
sorry havent been here for a couple of days, me and will spent this evening at a and e, we went ice skating with the family last night and will fell and hurt his knee cap, so went to doc today and they sent him to hospital for an x ray, but it isnt broken just swollen and sore on the inside bless him. i hope you have been sleeping bit better and hope your feeling ok sweetie.
i have been thinking about you and sending loads a love to you both. luve and hugs chickie karen xxxx
Teresa, am thinking of you lots, and Michaela, and hoping that for you this week goes as fast as it can till you get to see the Boss on friday, it is so tough! try and get some rest, you'll be needing your strength! love and hugs to you!
hope your feeling ok hunni, and so pleased you went to the docs, please look after yourself .
hope darryl, kirsty and daley are all ok.
hope youv'e been relaxing.
went ice skating last night and will fell on his knee cap and been sore all day so doc sent him to a and e, been there about 4 hours, all ok it is swollen inside and giving him jip bless him.
anyway sweetie, hope your ok and feeling better, speak soon, love, hugs and firemen with big hoses, chickie karen xxxx
hope your ok hunni, and hope our duracell bunny is doing well, how did app go yesterday, and how is everything today after chemo, so hope she is feeling not too bad and no horrible side effects. hope you can go on your shopping trip very soon,
anyway mate, speak soon, sending loads a love, hugs and firemen with hugs hoses lol and love to your mum and dad x love chickie karen xxxx
hope your ok and caz is well, bet she had a great weekend bless her. all the best for her audition. your b & b sounds great will have to book in sometime lol sending love and hugs karen xxxx
