Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
thanks mel, yours kates and everyones support is fantastic and you have both helped me here tonight, i cant thank you both enough, i just hope one day i will be able to help you as you have helped me.
kate, we will be here for you after duracell bunnys chemo, it is scary, all of this is very scary isnt it?? hope the side effects wont be too bad
I wish your mum all the best for chemo on tuesday! give her a big hug from me and say i send my love.
Will she be going all glammed up again?
Don't go putting your head in the sand after chemo finished and don't forget to pack the bag ready for emergencys! lol
We will be here for you to share your worries as i know you do when your mums chemo has finished so don't ever think you are just whining and whinging. We love and care about you and the duracell bunny very much!!
How many more chemo sessions has your mum got left to have?
ooh Mel that was lovely. i too am soo proud to know you Karen and to share my life with you , sorry for nickin your lines mother-hen, but same goes for you, and hope chikky Teresa is in a lovely sleep now, I think its wonderful how much we have all bonded
i am so pleased to share my life with you all too (sorry iv'e nicked mels line too) lol, we have all bonded so well havent we? like super glue lol i think you all are such brave, strong ladies and am honoured to call you friends xxxx
Glad to have been of help to you but you don't have to thank me as i really feel for you and just wish i could do more than i do.
I hope you have a nice day tom or should i say today and that you feel a bit better do try the vicks in hot water it does really work, but makes your eyes stream so be prepared for that ok? lol
Let me know how you get on with it and i forgot to say when you first start taking antibiotics you always feel worse first then start to feel better so hopefully by next week you'll be much better.
I may have to go to bed soon as got to be up at 8.30am and the flipping clocks changed today too didn't they
you have been such a great help tonight, which i have to thank you for hunni, you go and have a lovely sleep, and lovely dreams of them firemen and there massive hoses lol
hope you have a good day tomorrow love you lots sweetie chickie karen xxxx
Hurrah sunny summer nights yipee, night night girlies, love you both to bits, you too Teresa thinking of you and Michaelaxxxxxxxxxx
Mel mum too has 6 sessions so nearly half way there, she had 12 with the breast cancer, we will all get tjhere girls, night night sweet dreams, and firemen with gigantic hoses xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
thanks so much for your great help tonight, you and mel have helped me so much, and i thank you both from the bottom of my heart.
hope you have a lovely sleep and lovely dreams of firemen and the hugs hoses lol am going off to bed now too, knackered. love to your mum, hope she is sleeping well.
