Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
well you know i am always here if you need to chat or you can p/m me anytime, still helping my daughter move house, we have no more boxes, so every room is just full of bin liners, mostly the kids junk, its never ending, think some things will be lost forever, we are so dissorganised lol
thanx hun, im just feeling low and lonely hun, tams gone home now bless her, and i do miss her so much when shes not here.i also miss having ppl im close to to talk to if u know what i mean, i wish i cud go to my mom and cry and tell her how im feeling but i cant, never have been able to, lol am sat here wiv tears running down my face now i think ive depressed myself even more. the good thing tho is that i made the call to book a docs appt for myself today because i think that my depression is back wiv a double vengeance, and am going before my hospital appt on wednesday.another thing getting me down is i m going to the hospital on my own on wednesday as my best friend has to work cuz shes just started a new job, which is a pain but cant be helped, and there i s no one else i can ask to b there with me, or at least no one i wud feel comfortable with. and because of the poor relationship i have wiv my mom i cant ask her. shell xoxoxox
Am just here for a moment, Shell, am so glad you made an appointment to see your GP, I don't need to tell you, the antidepressants won't work for a week or so,you know that I expect....I hope your news is ok or at the very least, not too bad.....
Dianne, hope all goes well for that moving....it always seems a mess but will get straight eventually!
Love to all, will be back on line probably on saturday....
