Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
starwberry shortcake shell all done thank you hows you doing hun hope you feel a little better we will be there if not in person in spirit to support you hugsxxxx
thanx SB....... cant remember the rest lol. feel a bit better thank u hun, its soooooo nice to know i can log on here and get the help and support i dont get anywhere else so thank u everyone xoxoxoxox
you dont need to thank any one shell we all want to help any way we can you are strong and brave and with all the support we receive we will get through this ok hugs xxxxx p.s CSBMM
oh my word im going to have to go my eldest has just come in and said he is going to ozzie land for 6 months and he has put his notice in at work i cant lose him i know its only the other side of the world but i want him to stay here with me for a little while longer its too soon for him to be going trying to get to grips with losing my kev let alone not seeing my son for 6 months sorry going to have to go and sit and talk to him about things shell i am holding your hand mate will speak to you tomorrow xxxx
Hi MHM and all chickie, not forgetting Rooster and other visitors to our hen coop
We have had some good news today that is exciting, Gemma has been picked to ride on the England team in Polocrosse in the international games that will be held later on this year.
I know polocrosse is not a mainline game nor well publisied but she has worked hard and the cost has been high, but I am still proud as punch of her!
Charles - you may well come across the game as it was invented in Australia by cattle farmers as light relief and additional exercise for their cattle horses. Also the Australian season is now in full swing with games held everywhere. If so look out for the 'WEBB' family as they are all in the international teams, Gemma works for one of them here in the UK.
Help - now I am going to be spending the summer packing camping kits and washing unspeakably filthy riding kits. Argghh the summer of keeping white jodS and white jeans WHITE!!!
morning all my beautiful chickies! I hope you are all well and that the sun is shining where you are? Just wanted to say Juls well bloody done to Gemma for going with the polocrosse team how proud are you right now!!!!!!! I know how hard she has worked for that so i also am very proud of her. Give her a hug from me and tell her MHM sends her very best of luck and hope she has a fab time and i'm very proud of her too!! Bet there will be some celebrating going on this week! lol It's so nice to hear good news and has cheered me up no end.
Darryl has picked up a bit yesterday (their all still in bed at the mo) he managed to eat some cheerios for breakfast and had some soup at dinner so that's alot better isn't it? The CAV chemo seems to be helping him and he was awake a bit more yesterday too. I'm so pleased with his improvement i could fly!!!!!! lol He has asked me to take him to a funeral directors today as he wants to sort his arrangements out but iv'e said to him it's probably better if i ring one first to make an appointment to chat to them as they may not be able to chat to him about it today. So i'm ringing them a bit later. That's gonna be so hard but he has told me a few things he wants already. For instance he wants everyone to go in casual clothing (he's never been a shirt and tie man himself) and he also wants all the ladies to wear something pink!! Not sure what i'm gonna buy thats pink yet though! lol He doesn't want any flowers but wants donantions to Cancer Research.
I hope you all have a lovely day with your loved ones today and that yourselves and your loved ones are well and comfy. Chickie sue butty mophead madwoman hope you managed to presude your son to stay home a little longer as i know you need your kids around you right now? If he does still go you still have us i know it's not the same but we are here for you sweet and i still been holding your hand and thinking of you lots. I hope the roast went well yesterday and you didn't stress out too much! lol I will be here for a little while if any of you are about and want to say hello. You all take care and i will catch up with you all again when i can. Thank you all for everything you have done for me i would be truly lost without all my lovely chickies looking out for me! Love and big group hug all round love MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
