Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
hey chickie Teresa Glad the dig bout the virgin made you laugh! lol That pleases me alot knowing i can still make my chickies smile! I'm glad our Michaela is resting well babe lets hope it lasts for her all night eh? Don't forget to get your rest too sweet cos you gotta stay strong for our baby chick Michaela! Wonder if she'd like to be our baby chick? lol bet she hates the idea knowing teenagers they all wanna be all grown up! lol Still gonna call her it though! Maybe in secret yeah? Still haven't heard from chickie Kate have tried ringing her loads but her phones switched off. wondering if she's left it at the hospital again? Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxx
My dear Alli my heart is breaking for you sweet please come back when you can and talk to us we really do care so very much and all gonna be so worried now about you! Please let us know you are ok even if it's just to say Boll**ks!! A least then we know you are listening!! I am so worried about you and i really do wanna help in any way i can you just have to let me in sweetie! love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hey chickie Teresa I'll have some of them chips then if the're going begging! lol Bet chickie Sue butty will be upset tomorrow that she missed the chips to go with her butty! lol Love and hugs your MHM xxxxxxxxxxx
Hey all my chickies I think we have lost contact with Alli? Lets hope that all our strenght and courage can bring her back soon and help her to make the right decision eh? It's awful when you can't reach out to someone in so much pain an distress i feel really bad now that i couldn't reach her or help! Why does this always happen? I truly hope she is ok so if anyone hears from her can they let her know i am here if she ever wants to chat and i love her lots? Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxx
Michaela is your baby chick (even she say's so!!) so no need to call her it in secret, quite fitting really isn't it given her surname lol!! sending you over some chips and ketchup
hey my chickie Teresa Glad our baby chick Michaela liked her new name bless her and yes very apt considering her surname! I forgot about that! lol The chips are lovely first thing iv'e eaten all day! Just remembered that silly me! lol Can i have some more or you out of the kitchen now and on strike! lol Love and hugs your CCC MHM xxxxxxxxxxxx
