Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
hi Ally i'm sorry you are in so much pain right now babe. Please talk to us and tell us whats wrong maybe we can help you? We're here for you sweet and holding your hand so please don't be scared You are not alone and never will be ok? love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Dearest MHM Did get your p/m..liked the joke about bloody virgin, should def have got a more experienced one lol!! Michaela is away with the fairies for now, bless her it was a long day, sending you all much love and (((((((hugs))))))) (have you heard anything from Kate?) please keep me informed about things with her and DB xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hey Alli I second what chickie hippy Donna has to say you really need to think about this babe. You need to give yourself time to get strong before you make any rash decisions! We are here for you so please keep talking sweet. I totally can understand why and how you are feeling but please re think who know's what the future holds for any of us sweet I know you are strong and i know you ain't no quitter so you go girl and have that chemo and we will all support you through it every step of the way and that's a mother hen mel promise and i never break my promises to anyone ever! Love you loads sweet and we're all giving you strength and courage to carry on with the chem Love and hugs your MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Just looked at your profile (hope you don't mind) how gorgeous are you and your daughters???? I so agree with Juls, MHM and Donna, not a decision to make when you've had a little blip and got p****d, you're still entitled to normality and a bit of fun aren't you? Hopefully you'll be back here tomorrow saying it was just the drink talking, love and hugs to all Teresa xxxx
