We Talk Brain Tumours

Seeing Ali again today has affected me more than I thought it would do.  Just seeing her in the coffin like that has really hammered home the finality of it all.  Not to mention that I had to undertake the hard job of cutting up her passport to be sent back to the passport office.

You are a far braver man than me Pete and I respect what you have done immensely. Take care of yourself and make sure you have some support available especially this evening.

Stuart

Thank you Stuart.

There was no way that I could let Ali's friend go by herself.  Basically, thinking about other people is easier than thinking of myself.  I thought of nothing but Ali all through her illness, and now I'm thinking of her family and close friends.

Pete, you were very brave to go and see Ali. I admire you. I made the decision not to see dad but I have to say I regret it a bit now.

I'm sorry I haven't been around much, I just haven't felt up to it. My almost-14yo daughter has been causing extreme problems and I am running on empty and not felt able to offer much support. I hope tomorrow is everything you could ever have wanted for your beautiful Ali. I will be with you in spirit and silently willing you on. No doubt it will feel extremely surreal and it is normal to feel a slight sense of anti-climax after the funeral. Baby steps Pete, an hour at a time if necessary.

Thinking of you with love,

Naomi.x

As for your wedding ring Pete, you must do what you feel is best. For now removing it would probably cause you more pain (forgive me if I'm wrong).

You're still a young bloke and you know that Ali would not have wanted you to be alone forever. If and when you meet someone new that person will need to accept that a large proportion of your heart will always be with Ali. So if you feel like wearing your ring forever, go ahead. If, in time, you feel ready to wear it on a different finger, do that too. Follow your instincts.

Sorry if anything I have said has offended you.

Naomi.x

Good to see you again, Naomi.  Thanks for your ideas, and don't worry, you've caused no offense at all.  We're all friends here after all.

Well, things are set for the funeral tomorrow.  My suit trousers still fit.

The last thing I need to sort out was the music for the cremation, so I have chosen Lonestar "Amazed" for the opening (it was our first dance song), and Barber's Adagio for Strings for the ending music.

I feel a strange sense of anticipation.  A bit like the night before a wedding, but not.

Hi Pete

I dip in and out of this site infrequently but have always followed your journey with concern and interest and I have just popped in and discovered your sad sad news.  I am so so sorry for your loss.

I am currently caring for my hubby through GBM IV and I found you inspiring at times when I really thought I couldn't go on. Ali was so lucky to have you taking care of her.

Good luck tomorrow. I hope your day is full of wonderful memories of your life with Ali and that you find the strength to get through it all. The music you have chosen is wonderful.

I will be thinking of you and sending love and good wishes.

Pam

x

Hi Pam.  Sorry to hear of your husband, but I'm glad if some of my posts have helped you in any practical or emotional way.

I have simply done my best for Ali as long as I could.  I broke a lot of rules along the way though.

If you ever need advise, feel unsure about something, or just want to vent, were' all here for you.

You really don't have to feel alone in caring for your husband.

Dear Pete,

Will be thinking of you, Ali and your families tomorrow.

Hope all goes well.

Sending you strength.

love jmd xxx