We Talk Brain Tumours

Debs,

I have read about that, it's a really lovely idea. We are burying dad's ashes in the church graveyard close to his favourite pub and where his best friend is also buried. We were going to go back to the Isle of Wight (where he grew up) to scatter them but then he said he wanted to stay in Mistley. I'm pleased as I feel I need somewhere to visit, if that makes any sense.xxx

Ilowe,

Sorry, I forgot to add this in my earlier post - dad always felt better if he managed to eat something. It sounds stupid that when you feel sick you should eat but it's a bit like pregnancy stomach. An empty stomach churning is sometimes worse. During his treatment he lived on custard and Mullerices because - forgive me being so graphic - they were easy to bring back up :(

What helped dad was to remember that chemo is a poison and if it was making him feel that bad, imagine what it was doing to his tumour. And it did work, for six months it halted that beastly tumour right in its tracks.

Also, radiotherapy causes incredible exhaustion (I think we underestimate how much, having never been through it ourselves) which causes nausea in itself. The last of dad's six week treatments was the week before Christmas and I would say it took until March for him to stop feeling so tired. The radiotherapy causes the tumour to swell and it continues to work for a long time after the treatments have stopped.

Some people sail through their treatments and your sister may feel better as her system adjusts. Others, like my dad, are not so lucky.

Really hope she starts to feel better soon.

Ha Ha....can just see Steve's face knowing he has been turned into his beloved Les Paul, love it!  xxx

Debs its not sick at all, we are all so close to thinking about mortality that to not discuss seems a little strange to me.  Her is another link http://www.memorial-diamonds.com/  Ashes can be made into diamonds.  I suggested it to Paul but he wants to be scattered, he loved being outside and chose his spot many years ago, so that is what we plan to do when my son comes home at Christmas.

Hi Debs I will look into that ashes in a glass for my mums ashes,another suggestion,when my nan passed away some years ago we asked the funeral parlour to snip some of her hair and my brother framed it in a little photo frame and stands on a shelf and wrote Nan in her hair ,we have done the same with my mums.Hugs Chris.xx

Oh Debs R wouldn't that just be fitting for him, forever strummed!  Glad people are ok with it.  I hope that only some ashes are used and you can still be buried/scattered or kept......but a little part of me will stay with my kids.  Shame it's mostly aimed at females by the design.  I don't know many men who wear cufflinks, but maybe if my boys got married.........who knows.....might just get them a paperweight, so I can sit on top of their bills looking pretty!

Deli, the only thing I know about Mistly is the animal park and that my cousins husband came from there. I hear it has some nice beaches but have never visited....maybe I'll get hubby to take me with my camera, haven't been out photographing for a long while now and I miss it.  I grew up in Loughton, my Mum was born at Colchester barracks and my Dad is from Buckhurst Hill, they moved to Frinton on Sea several years back when Mum needed a bungalow due to her back problems.  My Aunt and my cousins all live around that way too. Even one of my sisters has moved to the coast at Shoeburyness .... but I like to buck the trend ;)  What a small world!

Chris, that sounds like a lovely keepsake too.

Its a bit grey & misty here and somewhat chilly from my walk to Tesco's.  Came back with the extra large Bloo Loo's (zesty one tho) and whilst lifting the cistern lid, dropped the 'thing' with the bloody plastic part of the packaging.  So had to move all the deodorants and 'stuff' my kids have left on top, take the cistern lid right off and put my arm in to retrieve!  Teach me to try and just tip it in, guess I am lucky it wasn't the loo!

Love & Strength to all who want or need it xxx

Yes, our funeral director also offers the diamond service as well.  I think that we'll just keep the ashes and spread them in places that Ali likes to be over a long period of time.  In a sense, it will be nice to take some of her with me if I happen to go anywhere.

I just had someone from the care agency pop around to pick up the care records.  They've been so fantastic with Ali, so I've asked if some wanted to come to the funeral so that the friends and family can thank them for their work (they've also asked to come, so that's good).

Sadly, the person who we really needed emotional and practical support from was the Mac/Sue Ryder nurse.  We never really got any connection with her at all and she remained somewhat aloof and didn't really help that much (although things might well have happened in the background).  We certainly didn't get the "we're with you every step of the way" that's implied by the TV adverts.

Thankfully, I've had so much support from you guys that we've not really needed her that much.

Debs - I live in Colchester, opposite the barracks! Small world. My favourite place in the world is Frinton (hoping my kids save up to me in one of the old people's home there!). Mistely Place Park (environmental centre) is opposite church where dad's ashes will be borrowed (next to the cricket club). The kids loved going to the animal park with dad so it all fits in quite nicely.

I would so love all of us to meet one day, in a place that is mutually convenient and central to us all. I feel like you have all become my friends.

Naomi.x

Borrowed?? Buried even!

Pete - it is so lovely that the carers will attend Ali's special day, a testament of how much they cared about her.

We didn't have much care from our Mac Nurse throughout dad's illness until right at the very end when she arranged for dad's transfer to the Hospice (after we'd practically begged for help). That said, the man operating the "Mac Stand" at the hospital was lovely and couldn't help us enough. Just the luck of the draw I suppose.

Hope today has been kind to you.

Naomi.x

I had another batch of cards through this morning (you have no idea how many people love Ali)

The most touching one had the simplest message.

It just said "Enough said" inside.

It came from a colleague of mine who's wife passed away a few years ago from cancer.  To anyone else, that message might seem curt and impersonal, but I get it completely.