In the past year have prostate cancer stage 4 had chemotherapy, 6 months ago had spread to brain causing car crash no injuries and tumour removed then radiotherapy. On hormone therapy for a year now. Mostly feeling ok now other than fatigue. What i am finding most difficult is relationship breakdown with my wife married over 50 years. She has a chronic lung condition to deal with which has been handled poorly by NHS also other health issues. She has for some time had crisis of confidence blamed on me. We have little contact with our family. We cannot have a conversation without recriminations regarding my failings, many I admit too. Says I am shallow, lack feelings, we lack intimacy do not consider her emotional needs, etc etc .
She suffers from depression wants no treatment for it. And I must admit when she is at her lowest I find it very difficult to deal with and invariably become depressed too. This of course is a cause of real resentment. Don't know where to turn
Hello Gerd,
My name is Lizzie, and I’m part of the Online Community team.
I’m so sorry to hear about your diagnosis and the difficulties you’re currently experiencing in your relationship with your wife. It sounds like you’re going through an incredibly challenging time, and I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you. Please know that you don’t have to face everything alone. Macmillan is here for you, and we want to support you in any way we can.
If you haven’t already, you may find it helpful to have a chat with our Support Line team. Sometimes, having someone to talk to and being able to share what’s on your mind can make things feel a little less overwhelming. The team can also help you explore what support may be available in your local area.
The Macmillan Support Line is open 7 days a week, from 8am to 8pm. You can reach them free on 0808 808 00 00, by email, or via live webchat.
You also mentioned that you’ve been finding things difficult and feeling depressed. I would encourage you to speak with your GP, who can listen to how you’re feeling and discuss what support or help might be available.
You can also seek advice on a range of topics over in our Ask an Expert forum. If you have a question you’d like a professional to answer, simply head over to the correct forum group, and post your question by starting a new thread. A Macmillan professional will then aim to respond within 1 to 3 working days.
Additionally, there are helplines available if you feel your situation worsens and you feel you're in need of urgent help:
We would always recommend discussing how you are feeling with your GP or medical team. If you need help and it’s outside of your GP’s opening hours, please call the non-emergency NHS 111 on 111 for England and Scotland. NHS Direct Wales on 0845 46 47 if you are from Wales. If you’re in Northern Ireland, you can find details of an out of hours service here. You can always call 999 in an emergency.
I hope this information is helpful and please do not hesitate to reach out if you have any questions.
Best wishes,
Lizzie
Macmillan Online Community Team
