Just curious as to how any of you have navigated this, whether you were the one with cancer or your spouse, friend, partner, loved one went through it.
We navigate the topic and get to a point where she will verbally start to stop blaming herself and then we end up there again. She is halfway through chemo, just finished AC, has 4 rounds of T left. She has navigated most of the side effects very well. She just is stuck on the guilt. I know it's "normal", I know all the info about alcohol raising the "risk", whatever that means. I also know she did so much to lower the risks just by being very slim, active and healthy. To pick out one thing she regrets and hone in on it is so painful to watch.
If you've been through this, tell me how long it took to walk away from this dark thought. Tell me, as a spouse, how I can help her more. I really want to help unburden her from this cycle. Cancer treatments are hard enough, she should be pampering herself, not punishing. We are Christian and we do lean into faith. She has awesome friends, an awesome sister and a great therapist...
Thanks.
Mike
Hi Mike MichaelW and a very warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but I am so sorry to hear about your wife’s diagnosis.
I am also a Mike ….. and I have been on my cancer journey for over 26 years with two very rare, hard to treat types of Non Hodgkin’s Lymphomas (one incurable), Asbestosis and recently Prostate Cancer that navigating this journey can be such a stressful and challenging time.
For some people finding something to blame for their cancer diagnosis can be a thing…. but with 1 in 2 people developing cancer in their life time there is a high possibility of having cancer regardless what we do.
As a Christian of 55+ years, in my mind the main focus is that we don’t walk this journey on our own and faith is a very important aspect to get us through.
We do have a dedicated group where people of faith can get and give support….. do check it out Religion, spirituality and Prayer forum
The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your wife and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our general cancer……
……. support group where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [Black - Click to Join - Banner] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.
When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [+] in the top right of the group page.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
As always the Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits and financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.
