After 20 years of dealing with cancer, I feel that life is going nowhere and that I might as well give up. I've was diagnose 5 time with cancer between 2006 and 2012. Have four operations and been on medication since Feb 2012. I have struggled for year and managed to keep going by working full time and going to the gym. However the last two years have been the worst. I had a TIA two years ago. Last year I had an operation to correct my vision cancelled six times and 12 weeks ago had to have my two big toe nails removed. I know it doesn't sound much. I also have dysphagia and have ended up in hospital several times resulting in esophagus dilation. I'm also caring for elderly parents. And work now just stresses me out, having been constantlyallocatedwork whist off that i can no longer keep up with. I have no family to turn to as cancer just took over and things never worked out. How can i be in a relationship when i hate myself for been uglyand never coming to terms with the physical and non-physical signs of operatios. I have had coucilling in the past and when referred back to them recently by my GP was told by the councuing service that I had too many sessions. How do I keep going on?
Hello TidyD
My name is Lizzie and I work here in the Online Community making sure the site remains a safe and supportive environment.
I’m really sorry to hear about what you’re going through and how difficult things have been feeling for you recently. It sounds like you’ve been carrying a lot, and I’m glad you felt able to reach out and share some of what you’ve been experiencing. Reaching out when things feel overwhelming can take a lot of courage, and I hope you’re able to find some comfort and support within the Community.
You mentioned feeling as though your life is going nowhere and that you might as well give up. I’m really sorry that you’ve been feeling this way. Those feelings can be incredibly heavy to sit with, and you don’t have to face them completely on your own.
I can see you mentioned that your GP referred you back to counselling, but that you were told you’d already had too many sessions. I can understand how frustrating and disheartening that must have felt, particularly when you’re recognising that you need some additional support. Have you been able to speak to your GP again about how you’re feeling now, particularly the thoughts you’ve been having about giving up? It’s important that they know how much you’re struggling so they can consider what support may be available to you.
I would also advise having a chat with our team on the Support Line. Sometimes it can help to talk things through with someone who’s there to listen. They’re available 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week, on freephone 0808 808 00 00, by email, or via live webchat.
You can also seek advice on a range of topics over in our Ask an Expert forum. If you have a question you’d like a professional to answer, simply head over to the correct forum group, and post your question by starting a new thread. A Macmillan professional will then aim to respond within 1 to 3 working days.
There are also crisis helplines available if you feel you need someone to talk to or some immediate support:
We would always recommend discussing how you are feeling with your GP or medical team. If you need help and it’s outside of your GP’s opening hours, please call the non-emergency NHS 111 on 111 for England and Scotland. NHS Direct Wales on 0845 46 47 if you are from Wales. If you’re in Northern Ireland, you can find details of an out of hours service here.
You can always call 999 in an emergency.
I hope this information is helpful and that you find the online Community a comforting source of support. If you have any questions, please let us know.
Best wishes,
Lizzie
Macmillan Online Community Team
