Husband’s Sudden diagnosis

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My husband (in his early 40’s) was diagnosed this week with Leukaemia. Out of nowhere, just a phone call at lunchtime after a blood test a few days earlier, and that was it. He started treatment last night. We have 2 very young children. I keep going between crying in a heap on the floor to playing with the children & going about their routine with a smile on my face for them. Then I feel guilty for forgetting for a few moments & feel worse again when it suddenly hits me. I can have totally normal conversations with someone then an hour later I can’t control the tears. Is this normal??? 

  • Hi Clarkee,

    I am so sorry to read the awful news about your husband and my heart goes out to you at what I know will be an incredibly difficult time. I read your post and was nodding my head throughout so unfortunately I have to say you are experiencing is normal. I was 36 on diagnosis. I had been picking up a few infections and had some back pain, but I was fit, working hard and cancer was the absolute furthest thing from my mind. Then over the course a weekend, my left leg started swelling and by Monday morning I could hardly walk. I was sent to the hospital, admitted straight away and had 10 days of tests before they finally diagnosed myeloma, a blood cancer. I understand the massive shock and how it is like someone has picked up your life, given it a big shake and tipped it on its head. As the patient, I was swamped with attention, but I’m not sure how my wife coped. Our kids were 8, 6 and 2 at the time and suddenly I disappeared and was then diagnosed with an incurable disease. The normal things still go on (school runs, friends birthday parties, food shops), but in the background your life as you have built it and dreamed for is lying in tatters on the ground. So to feel all over the place and out of control is unfortunately absolutely normal.

    Do you have family and friends around to help at this time (ie, cook you meals, take the kids out for a bit, help with chores?). This is going to take a while before it begins to make any sense, so having a good support network around you will be really helpful. And as odd as it sounds, you’ll need to carve time out for yourself as well. Your children and husband are going to need a lot from you over the coming weeks and months, so carving space out for yourself is so important so you don’t burn out.

    I am sending you loads of love and best wishes. I remember the horror, the shock, the whirlwind of the initial period post-diagnosis, it was truly horrendous. 


  • FormerMember

    Hi Clarkee, 

    Just found your post and wondered how you were getting on? How are you feeling about it all now? How has treatment been going for your family?

    My husband, aged 38, was diagnosed with Leukaemia yesterday. Still can't quite believe that statement. We've got a 6 and 3 year old and I don't know what to think about it all. His is very slow growth and caught quite early while they were looking for a source of his heart problems, so I don't know if he's not really that worried or just doing his usual of sweeping it under the carpet. I have no idea how I'm supposed to feel about it tbh, feel a bit of a fraud for being upset I guess.

    Was wondering how you have dealt with the first few months, and how the new normal looks to you. 

    Sending you all my best wishes.

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember


    im sorry to hear you have had bad news. But I suppose it’s good in a way that you now know what is behind your husbands condition? 
    My husband has now had his 3 cycles of treatment but they’re not able to treat it just with chemo alone as he has a genetic mutation which makes it harder to treat, so he is going in for a stem cell transplant. We’re hopeful it will cure him but he has a 50/50 chance of survival so things are still very difficult to cope with. 
    Everything changed once Covid kicked in and the way we had to deal with things became even more difficult. The children cannot go back to school & we haven’t been able to see anyone. It’s been. Dry hard. 

    do you know any more about your husbands type of leukaemia and his prognosis? I guess you’re maybe still waiting on test results?