I never thought I’d have to post in one of these groups. My dad was diagnosed with throat cancer last year, I was 20, and in uni, I deferred my final year and moved in with him to help out.
In January we were told he was in remission, so I found student accommodation and reapplied for university which starts again next Month. Last month my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer. He has refused to have any treatment and has changed into a different much angrier person. As I’m the only person in the house I take the brunt of his anger, he regularly says I don’t care, I’m awful, he’s just going to lie there and die.
im supposed to move out in 4 weeks, to continue with my university course. I don’t want to leave him alone, but I also don’t want to live with him anymore, as he is so angry all the time. It has been so bad lately that I have considered leaving and staying at my mums house, but I feel so guilty about leaving him alone.
im worried that If I keep living with him, and taking his anger that I’m going to end up hating him, and I don’t want to remember him as this angry person he has become.
Hi
Sorry to hear about your father though I am sure in your heart you know it is just the cancer that is making him so angry. You may well be right though about taking the anger so perhaps what is needed is a different answer.
Has he had a need assessment? With that there might be a way of getting him the care he needs so that you know he is safe and for you to continue your university course. Certainly it would be worthwhile talking to student services though so they can provide you some support while your father is so ill.
Do post on here whenever you need as someone will always be here but if you need a quick fix do ring the helpline 0800 808 0000 as they will be able to discuss in more detail what might be available to support you both.
<<hugs>>
Steve
