If only

Dear Ddd213,

I used to be part of this group last year and wanted to reach out to you.

I am sorry to hear about your spouse. A cancer diagnosis absolutely sucks! 

My advice to you is to stop blaming yourself about the past - you can't change that now.  Have faith in yourself to able to deal with problems as they appear. There is a lot of help out there and here. So make sure you take it, in whichever form it presents itself.

My experience of living in the moment helped me not to worry about things that may never happen!

I can not stress enough how important it is to take care of yourself too. For me, it meant regularly going to yoga classes. There were times I did not want to go but I did throughout my husband's illness and to this day.

The benefits of yoga are multitude. It gave me time to just breath when it got tough and at other times, most of the time, to just to live in the moment.

With lots of love,

Dutsie Xx

Hello,

So sorry to read this, both for your husband and yourself/family.

Personally, I decided that we all make our own choices in life - and really - would nagging have made any difference at all?  Even though we can see actions which would be better avoided - other people can be very blinkered.

So, it is important for yourself to stay in the moment - with your husband's reatment it is likely you will have to be the strong one, and yes, it is imperative that you look after yourself at all costs.

With very best wishes to you and yours,

Lynio

Shoulda, woulda, coulda. Can't change the past and we're all wise with hindsight but don't waste valuable energy on what you just can't change. You'll need it for what you have to get through in that hour or that minute. Don't fear the future as that's more energy wasted. Think of energy as your bank account, don't get overdrawn, stay in the black by doing whatever you need to so you can keep going.

I paint my toenails different colours each week, a full pedicure if I have time and more importantly the energy and yes, yoga also helps me along with the occasional dancing like no ones watching!! Find whatever it takes to ride the rollercoaster that is being a carer, we are there with you xx