Hi, new here and I'm fed up of being told I should be 'grateful'. My dad is 13 months in to a stage 4 gallbladder CA diagnosis. At 73 I keep getting told how lucky he is, how its a miracle he's still here and how I should be grateful. I know I shouldn't complain but I am his live in carer, 35 and feel like my whole life is on hold, it seems like I've taken on the role of wife/ servant and I'm exhausted. He's due to start folfox on Monday which is going to make things even more challenging, the cis/gent regime was a nightmare. I'm in this alone and I'm just so fed up. Obviously I love my dad and don't want him to die and I feel such guilt wishing this to be over because I know thats the only way I get out of this but between work, mothering and caring, I don't get a second to myself.
Welcome to our community, I hope you find it both informative and supportive.
It sounds like you have been through quite a lot and it is so easy to fall in to the role of supporting everyone else and putting ourselves last and that can be really exhausting. I wonder if your dad has had a needs assessment and you a carers assessment - this would help to highlight support that might help you both - you can find out about these here.
People do say some really challenging things when we a caring, I know how many people would say that my wife looked well when she was in the middle of treatment - they meant well but it felt false to me. Still her cancer has been stable now for over 10 years and I can say now she does look well.
Do post on here whenever as someone is always listening but remember if you need it you are welcome to ring the helpline 0808 808 0000 anytime between 8am and 8pm 7 days a week.
<<hugs>>
Steve
