Trapped

I’m so sorry, it’s totally understandable you’re feeling this way. Nobody asks for this. Do you have any friends or family that have offered practical help?
I’m not at this stage yet, my husband is getting his picc line fitted now, but I’m already making lists for myself of people who have offered help and how I’ll start to delegate some of the other life admin out; someone to pick up prescriptions, someone to pick up regular washing and drop it back washed, dried and folded, someone to drop in and give the bathroom a once over. I read somewhere that in order to conserve energy for the types of jobs you mentioned, I need to delegate anything else to others who want to help. I can’t imagine how difficult it is for those who don’t have a support network available to them so I’m sending a big hug if this is you. One other thought; our cancer nurse asked if my husband wanted our local hospice to drop in for support, this could be something you could put in place to help take that burden away so you can conserve your energy and protect yourself. None of us can pour from an empty cup.

Hi exhausted and lost.

I am sorry you find yourself in this position, it is exhausting and very lonely.

Re the PICc line, I had the choice about cleaning it and disconnecting the pump. I didnt even know when it was put in for my husband, that it needed cleaning weekly and the hospiral was 3 hours away! I managed to arrange for the district nurse to do it, at that time he could still drive and it gave him a chance for a weekly check in with them. 

I did wash bedding daily, didnt have anyone else to do it and cleaners charge a fortune in this area.

I agree with ladyblahblah, get help where you can. I had some but not regular, i just didnt have family and friends nearby. We did get referred in to the local hospice and they were a godsend, so do look at that option.

There is no excuse for aggression or violence even through something like this.  You can phone Macmillan and also ask for a carers assessment, reach out for support.

Do keep talkjng, it can help.

I know exactly how you feel call the above is how I feel ,I will be so upset if anything happened but my life has been cancer for 21 years and I feel I will be to old soon to have fun again x

I can understand how you feel. I’m due to be having a mini break with a friend next month but I know I can’t. I’ve got planned concerts to go to but I know I might not be able to. Life is on hold but I’m not getting any younger & seeing someone with cancer just makes me want to experience life more as in a heart beat it could be me.
The assumption we’ll just stop life for an unknown period of time is crazy but it doesn’t feel there’s any option.

Hoping you get some breaks at some point & keep sharing on here, we all understand. x

I totally understand how you feel. My husband was diagnosed with lung cancer in November 2025. He has an EFGR mutation so is taking a targeted drug which has had success in prolonging life for several years. He has been having chemo in addition to this and after each session has ended up in hospital because he refuses to drink enough liquid. I am doing all the housework, gardening, shopping, sorting out his meds etc and generally running myself ragged. All he has to do is drink enough and take his meds. He refuses to take some of his medication and won’t drink the fortisips. I am fed up of chivvying him along to try and drink and coaxing him to take his meds. It’s like living with a 2 year old. Tonight I had a row with him and said I could take any more. He’s a grown man and needs to take some responsibility for his health. I feel very guilty about being angry with him. I know he is ill but I have also had my life turned upside down and I cannot do the things I used to. However I am angry with him and I can’t help it. Does anyone else feel like this? How could I say such cruel things to him when he is ill, I feel ashamed of myself.

Hi Fortune

We all have a breaking point and sometimes things need to be said otherwise bottling them up can make it so much worse. Don’t be ashamed. My mom and I had some frank ‘conversations’ yesterday as the behaviours are unacceptable. It doesn’t mean we love them any less and they know that but it will hopefully make them think. My mom doesn’t want things to be different & if she was being difficult before I’d clearly tell her. I am certain your husband knows your disagreement was coming from a place of fear, worry & stress. You just want him to be as well as he can be and he needs to help with that. The stress on carers is huge. You’re only trying to help.

I tried mom on the fortisips for the first time yesterday, they do taste like cack - I wonder if that’s the reason for why he’s not drinking them.

I hope you both have a calm day today. I’m thinking of you. x

Oh I am so into my music ,and I feel life’s slipping me by ,he didn’t want to do anything but if his mates offer something up like a shot .

just come back from walking the dog I said let’s go for some breakfast to tired to shower and get dressed . 
you can love and feel sorry for yourself ,or just go alone ,but I want to do things with him ,who knows what a week,month or year could bring .

Exactly the same ,feel everything you have said ,23 years of this ,I am worn out .

he can tell you everything about Sport and quest programmes .

keep in touch .

Thank you 

I totally get where you are right now. I just want all the pain, uncertainty and anxiety to go away. Try to stay strong and ask for help from your GP, local hospice/community services.