Husband withdrawn and very low mood

Hi LizzieB38 

The end of treatment can be a very difficult time even if the treatment itself was difficult. When Janice was on some of her treatments she would get a temperature and be admitted for IV antibiotic and sometimes the hospital struggled to get her temperature back under control and as otherwise she felt ok she got quite stressed about getting out. 

The feeling of guilt is very common as we can see in your feelings when someone has cancer. I know one thing I had to learn was how to look after me because if I was broken when Janice really needed me then I helped nobody. 

I ended up doing a living with less stress course that really helped me, the recognition that I was doing a good job of dealing with anticipatory grief stopped me enjoying what we have. The conscious breathing exercises were great when life thew us another curve ball but also good for me to get some sleep when I needed.

Do post here whenever and if it helps remember you are more that welcome to speak to someone on the helpline too.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Hi Steve

thank you for your message. 

It is unbearable watching someone you love go through such a difficult illness. 

My husband’s cancer is in his throat so prior to treatment he had all his teeth removed (incase of infection) and had a feed tube fitted to his tummy. Losing his teeth was very hard for him. He then had his tonsils removed. 

He also had problems with infections and high temperatures during treatment and had to be admitted to hospital numerous times.

I will have a look at breathing exercises as I do feel very anxious and struggle to get to sleep. 

I appreciate you sharing your journey. Thank you

I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your experience. I have very similar feelings and I can feel very isolated at times so the fact that you have shared your experience helps me feel less alone with it. Best wishes to you and your husband.

I am glad that my post has helped you. It’s not easy and I hope the best for you and your spouse. 
As our loved one takes this journey, we are taken too. Although their journey is much more painful, ours is emotionally exhausting. 
I think when there is time to process all that we have seen and experienced, we will then realise how much it has affected us.