Looking after my daughter who has cancer

Hi Archieboo 

Sorry to hear about your daughter. If we look at your feelings when someone has cancer we can see how common the issues you flag are - and somehow perhaps that can help us feel less alone. Sometimes just recognizing how normal we are in a totally abnormal situation can help put some issues in to focus.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Hi Steve thank you for that link . I’ve had a quick look and it looks helpful. I will read it through properly tomorrow

Hi Archieboo

Sorry to hear about your daughter. I am in a similar situation, my 21 year old daughter has synovial sarcoma with lung mets. I know exactly how you feel with the guilt when you are feeling bad. I did a living with stress and uncertainty course run by Maggies which was very helpful and I do relaxation excercises which I also find helpful. 

Best wishes

Affie

Hi Affie so sorry to hear your daughter is so young too. It’s heartbreaking. It shouldn’t be this way round. I will take a look at Maggies . Many thanks for that. I use to meditate but just can’t get my mind in the right place. 
Sending hugs to you and your daughter . Take care 

I’m sorry to hear this. My daughter also has cancer, it’s stage 4 ALK positive lung cancer, it’s a rare cancer affecting non smokers and young people. Lucky there’s a targeted drug treatment which stops it growing as otherwise it’ll be aggressive. My daughter is 44 and has 3 children. I’m so so sad deep inside, I hold it together and pray for more research to give her more time. I’d much rather it had been me. Life feels so cruel. It’s so hard watching my daughter struggle and have to go through all this. 

Hi I am so sorry to hear you both and family are going through this too. Us as mothers should t have to see our daughters ho through this. I completely sympathise with you and wish it was me too. Not too sure how long your daughter has been going through this - my daughter was misdiagnosed for 1-2 years then we discovered the awful outcome may 2023. Since then she’s had major operation and then chemo . Hopefully this will do the trick for time being but we also know the type of cancer she has it will come back at some time just don’t know when. So although our daughters do not have same cancer we as mothers are constantly worrying. I have to tell myself now must be positive, live for today, enjoy spending time with my daughter and my grandson who’s only 9. And not dwell on what might happen and deal with things as they come. I really hope the targeted drugs for your daughter will work till she a ripe old age and as time goes by more and more treatments will happen to hopefully make your daughters life easier. Please message anytime as we both know how each other feels. Sending big hugs x 

Thank you it’s nice to be connected with other mums with similar situations. My daughter was diagnosed Feb 2022. It had spread too many other places and she had three broken vertebrae caused by tumour. Radiotherapy has successfully shrunk them and the chemo drugs are like weed killer but the root is there and it’s good at finding ways get through. Unfortunately cancer is clever! Her youngest is 10. It’s great you are spending as much time as possible with them that's like me, helping as much as I can. Being mis diagnosed for so long causes such frustration and often guilt and ‘what ifs’. It’s a waiting game listen and watching for any changes. We aren’t sure how long the chemo meds will last, there is another one to follow but then it’s chemo. Science is absolutely fantastic currently tho so let’s hope they discover something amazing! Best wishes and feel free message me anytime too. Thank you 

So sorry to hear about your daughter.  My daughter has only just been diagnosed with a grade 3 invasive ductal breast cancer.  Still waiting on HER2 receptivity tests but others are hormone negative I know it’s early days but I’m really struggling. I’m devastated for her having to go through this and terrified of the outcome. 

Hi Lorna 

I’m so sorry to hear about your daughter, it’s heartbreaking that it’s our precious children and horrible that there’s nothing we can do to make it all ok for them. Being with them on their journey and supporting them any way we can doesn’t feel enough. 
I hope you are learning more about your daughter’s diagnosis and treatment plan. There really is so much more these days they can treat with cancers it’s just a long unknown scary journey.

Am here to listen and share - take care

Lesley

It's so comforting to read posts from other mums in the same position as I am and to know that we all have the same worries, fears and sheer terror - while trying to put a brave face on for the world most of the time. 

My daughter was diagnosed with a very rare and aggressive cancer a year ago. It came as a total shock. She was well and very fit, had just run a half marathon. But a small lump was bothering her ... that was the start.

Eight months of chemo was followed by three surgeries. She is now two cycles in to a further 14 chemos and 15 radiotherapy sessions start this week. 

I was beyond desperation for several weeks at first. I still have bad days, but it has somehow become a way of life. I just pray for an eventual positive outcome.

Sending love, strength and a the biggest hug to all the mums on here - and very best wishes to your children. xxx