Parents arguing

Hi AmandadePanda

So sorry to read this, I can see how this is disturbing you as it would anyone in this situation - no matter what their age.

As you know Macmillan are here to help everyone and all our cancer experiences are going to be different. I hope your dad knows there are friends out here who will help him at times when it seems he cannot cope. i know how much both Macmillan and Maggies have helped to support me because the journey is hard for everyone.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Hi @amandaepanda, Just wanted to check in and say your not alone, whilst my situation is a little different - My dad has terminal lung and brain cancer, he lives with me and I am experiencing what your dad is.

it is hard and some days I have no idea how I will take much more but I'm sure that I'll keep going because its the cancer or the meds that causing it. I do use this forum as a way to release, I havent needed to call the macmillan support line, but I know its there if/ when I need it.

I havent yet managed to find the time - only two months since diagnosis - to find the time for me, but everyone on here will say that if he can he needs to make a little time for himself, hopefully that may receive some of the stress if only for a small time.

I have no pearls of wisdom, but if it helps, tell your dad he's not alone

Laura

Thank you Laura xx

I want to say I have also experienced the same.

I am wife and main carer to my husband who is  very very Ill with lung cancer, and I can’t get anything right at all. he has been verbally aggressive to me every day since he got his diagnosis. My children have been shocked by the personality change in him. They only knew their father as loving and kind to me ( they always said he was obsessed with me and infatuated with me after 40 years together) It’s as though he hates me now. But I have had to accept this change and try to make sense of it. I think he hates the fact that he’s reliant on me, that I’m washing him, emptying catheter and wiping him and all the intimate stuff and that I get to live on…. and he doesn’t. My children get everything right and I can’t do anything right. 
it’s so hard and this change is sooooo difficult to get my head around. 
hang on in there 

I’m just responding with kindness as much as I can but I want to scream. If he was well I’d think a divorce was around the corner but I’m accepting that cancer seems to make people quite venomous. Others have told me this is a common change in character. 

I send you strength 

M 

Thank you so much for sharing.  Yes, personality change is hard to deal with.

While it's so difficult it really helps to know that others experience the same things.

Sending strength and hugs right back

Absolutely  my partner uncurable but having ht and chemo for prostate cancer he has become very angry toward me and our grown up children when I tell him he's changed he gets worse,but then says it's the medication so obviously knows what he's doing ,he tells me he has cancer and can say what he wants ,erm no you can't, so hard and I know going to get worse as time goes on