Hi ….
my MIL was told she had weeks to live - 8 months ago -she has ovarian cancer and it’s spread to other places kidney eyc.
she came to live with us and we thought the end would be soon and we are grateful it wasn’t - we have had all this additional time and she hasn’t been in pain.
paliative nurse says - long weeks. When talking about her time or she has till recently when she says there’s been a change.
The last 6 weeks she has declined, she has been bed bound through out the 8 months but now she’s very thin, eats almost nothing (a table spoon of custard or sip of milkshake) she drinks very little, sleeps a lot. When she is awake she says she’s fine… and acts like we are mad to be concerned.
we know we will loose her, but we both work and want to take time to be with her when it is time ….. but how do we know? I don’t want to be taken by surprise - or for her.
she’s very chesty and coughs a lot, she can’t move herself in the bed, she’s very weak, it’s awful, but she says she feels fine and has no pain.
The not knowing is so hard, I want to sit with her and for her to feel loved but until it’s time I have to work too. I took 10 weeks off when she came to live with us so my work have been great but I don’t have any more time until it’s time if that makes sense …….
I’ve thought a few times that we were close, then she’s seemed better again for a few more weeks…. Professionals are so vague, I know they don’t know or can’t say but it’s it’s frustrating, I just want it to be the best for her, our children her friends as it can be …..
How will we know when it is the end?
sorry - thank you
Hi
Sorry to hear about your MIL and I hear your concerns. Part of the reason the professionals are vague of course is that they simply do not know. Even an expert oncologist examine someone will just be making a intelligent guess based on averages - and it seems you MIL is hardly average.
<<hugs>>
Steve
