The waves of uncontrollable crying, the overwhelming feeling of a future I won’t have, the grieving before it’s ‘needed’ continues to creep in, the lonely nights and days although you have people, the regret, the guilt, the pain so deep you don’t even think it belongs to you, the horrific thoughts of them gone before they have feels like your cheating their life, thinking about funerals and what you could say to people is sickening but a reality so close and true, darkness feels darker, impossible situations to think about, thinking about how others will deal and cope too!
‘enjoy yourselves whilst you can’ never helps does it when you can’t understand why someone doesn’t understand you anymore.
being a human means these feelings come even when we know we shouldn’t be feeling them at certain times.
my beautiful man doesn’t deserve this pain and neither do when our lives are just beginning in our 30s but I’m proud at how we are dealing with the card we’ve been dealt
On bad days I’m just so so glad he even entered my life, no matter how long that is for. we might not have babies or get married but smiling and sharing fun times is what we was given and I’ll accept that!!
it’s lonely but your strong, us other halves, gfs, wives, husbands, carers allow the emotion - sit with them - you got this x
